Process Diagram

Band 6+: The diagram below show the water supply system in Australia present and in future

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Image for topic: The diagram below show the water supply system in Australia present and in future

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The image contains two schematic diagrams labeled "Present water supply" and "Future water supply system", illustrating water supply management. In "Present water supply," water flows from a river to a dam or storage area, progressing to a water treatment plant, and is then distributed to shops and the city, extending to facilities labeled 'Households' and 'Factories'. From these points, 'Pure water' is supplied, and 'Waste water' is returned to the river. The "Future water supply system" diagram depicts a similar flow, with dams and storage leading to a water treatment plant. Here too, water is distributed to shops, households within the city, and factories. Notably, 'Pure water', 'Storm water', and 'Waste water' are channeled back to the river from the city and factories. No numerical data or percentages are provided within this descriptive framework.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagrams illustrate the current water supply system in australia with plans for future development.

Overall, the water supply system is predicted to see major improvements in the future including improvements in the utilisation of storm water.

At present, the pure water from dams are directed towards the populated areas, while the waste water from the dams and cities are sent to the water treatment plant for purification. Storm water, in addition, flows to the river.

In the future, the flow of pure water from storage area to the households will not be changed along with the flow of polluted water from the factories to the treatment plant. In contrast, the storm water has been redirected to flow to the treatment plant instead of the river. Plans to supply the clean water from the plants to the households has also been made. Additionally, waste water will no longer be sent to the water treatment plan from the dams.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 12

treatment: 4

supply: 3

future: 3

storm: 3

plant: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main components of both diagrams and identifies the key change regarding storm water. However, there are several inaccuracies in how the data is interpreted. For instance, the report suggests waste water currently flows from dams to a treatment plant, whereas the visual description indicates it flows from the city/households back to the river. Additionally, some descriptions of the current flow contradict the provided visual information. To improve, ensure a more precise mapping of the arrows and connections in the diagram to avoid misrepresenting the direction of water flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure, moving from an introduction and overview to specific details about the present and future systems. However, the progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic (e.g., 'In contrast', 'Additionally'). To improve, try to use more sophisticated linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid to avoid a 'list-like' feel.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and allows for a clear description of the process. However, there is a limited range of lexical items. There is some repetition of words like 'flow' and 'water'. To reach a higher band, aim to use more varied synonyms and precise technical verbs (e.g., 'diverted', 'recycled', 'processed', 'distributed') to describe the movement of water.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical inaccuracies that affect the precision of the description. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'pure water... are directed' should be 'is directed') and article usage. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward. Focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and ensuring that tense consistency is maintained throughout the comparison of present and future states.

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