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Band 7+: The diagram below shows the changes of the town named Shakefield

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the changes of the town named Shakefield

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The image shows two maps of a town from 1995 and the present. In 1995, there were housing near the top left, a sport facility, hotel, and public park in the middle, farmland at the top right, a restaurant adjacent to the hotel, a fish market near the shore, a morning fish boat in the sea, and a coffee shop. Presently, the farmland is replaced with a golf course and tennis courts; there's a new car park adjacent to the hotel, additional housing expanded to the left; holiday homes and an apartment complex are added, the fish market is removed, and a yacht is depicted in the sea.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram compares the development of Shakefield from the past in the year 1995 to the present.

Overall, it is clear that there are many changes in the town named Shakefield when compared to the present.

The first diagram provides the layout of the shakefield town before renovation. Many areas in this town have changed. To begin with the right corner, there is farmland, which is in front of a public park.The Public park and hotels are located in the middle of the town. On the opposite site, across the road, is residential areas and sports. A coffee shop, facing hotels across the road, is far from any neighborhood and stood alone in the heart of Shakefield. In the south area, there used to be not only morning fish boats, but also fish markets.

Nevertheless, many modifications can clearly be observed in the current map of Shakefield. The Farmland is dramatically changed into a golf course and a tennis course. In the middle of the town, the public park is replaced by holiday homes, hotels grow in size, and a car park is added. Moreover, there are many newly built houses, and sports are demolished to erect restaurants on the left side. Similarly, the fish market is converted into apartments, and next to them is a coffee shop which remains the same. Lastly, the morning fish boat is vanished, and replaced by numerous yachts.

Word Count: 234

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

shakefield: 5

there: 4

public: 3

hotels: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the requirements of the task, describing the changes in Shakefield from 1995 to the present. The overall organization is clear, with an introduction, overview, and detailed descriptions of both maps. However, there are some areas for improvement. The language could be more precise and varied, and some of the descriptions could be more concise. For example, avoid repetitive phrases like 'in the middle of the town'. Also, ensure that all significant changes are mentioned and that the level of detail is consistent throughout the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs describing the changes. However, transitions between some sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the flow. For instance, in the first body paragraph, the connection between describing the public park and then mentioning the residential areas could be more explicit. Consider using cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in contrast,' or 'similarly' to guide the reader more effectively. Paragraphing is adequate, but ensure each paragraph focuses on a distinct set of changes to maintain clarity.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing changes in a town layout. Terms like 'renovation,' 'modifications,' 'dramatically changed,' 'demolished,' and 'converted' are used appropriately. However, there's room to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary to elevate the description. For example, instead of 'hotels grow in size,' consider using 'hotels are expanded' or 'hotels undergo expansion.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is consistently accurate and natural throughout the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are instances where grammatical accuracy could be improved. For example, 'the shakefield town' should be 'Shakefield town' or 'the town of Shakefield.' Also, 'sports are demolished to erect restaurants' could be refined to 'the sports facility is demolished to make way for restaurants.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and prepositional phrases to enhance grammatical accuracy. Consistent proofreading is recommended to catch and correct these errors.

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