Process Diagram

Band 5+: the diagram below shows the process of Canning of fish. write a report for a University lecturer describing the process below

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Image for topic: the diagram below shows the process of Canning of fish. write a report for a University lecturer describing the process below

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The image shows a flowchart with 20 boxes describing the steps in the fish canning process. The process includes catching, cutting, cooking, sterilizing, sealing, and dispatching fish, with some steps like freezing, thawing, and unloading in between.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the process of canning fish.

Overall, the process consists of more than distinct ten stages, which begin with catching fish and end with despatching final product to markets. The process consists of several key stages such as cuttingin big pieces, steam cooking, filleting, storing and delivering to supermarkets.

In the initial stage, fish are caught and frozen to store in cool rooms for avoiding being spoiled. Then, these row materials can be weighted after unloading to transport. In the destination of them, they become melted to be cutted into large pieces.After that, they get cooked with steam and cooled to fillet in small pieces.

Following this, these cutted pieces are canned adding brine, water or oil. Next, these cans are sealed before sterilized by heating. Sterilized cans should be stamped or labelled before collecting in stores . Ready-made products are despatched to markets according to their orders.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 3

these: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main stages of the fish canning process, and it includes an overview. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions in the sequence of steps (e.g., the order of freezing, thawing, and cutting, and the placement of labelling). Some details are imprecise or incomplete, such as the exact number of stages and the specific steps like weighing and storing. To improve, ensure the description follows the diagram's sequence accurately and includes all key stages clearly. Also, avoid minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'cutted', 'row materials') and use more precise vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and a description of the process in paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and missing connectors. For example, 'In the destination of them' is unclear, and the transition from cutting to cooking could be smoother. The use of 'Following this' and 'Next' helps, but more varied cohesive devices would improve readability. The paragraphing is acceptable but could be more clearly organized around stages.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with words like 'illustrates', 'process', 'stages', 'sterilized', and 'despatched'. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions: 'cutted' should be 'cut', 'row materials' should be 'raw materials', and 'despatching' is less common than 'dispatching'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and more precise terms (e.g., 'conveyor', 'autoclave', 'retort') could be used. The phrasing 'for avoiding being spoiled' is awkward; 'to prevent spoilage' would be more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'more than distinct ten stages' should be 'more than ten distinct stages', 'cutted' should be 'cut', 'these cutted pieces' should be 'these cut pieces', and 'sterilized by heating' should be 'sterilized by heating' (though 'sterilized' is correct, the passive form is used inconsistently). There are also punctuation issues, such as missing spaces after periods. The sentence 'In the destination of them, they become melted to be cutted into large pieces.' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. The range of structures is limited, with frequent use of simple sentences and some incorrect verb forms.

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