Process Diagram

Band 5+: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans. Summarise the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

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The image displays an 11-step process, with a total duration of Six weeks spanning from step 3 to step 9. The steps are numbered as follows: 1-Waste, 2-Deposit, 3-Water, 4-Crush, 5-Process, 6-Erase with chemicals, 7-Heat, 8-Mould, 9-Weighting, 10-Rolling, and 11-New cans.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram provides information about a step-by-step process of turning waste into aluminium cans. Overall, the process contains three key steps including collecting waste, reforming unused items and producing cans in the duration of six weeks.

To begin with, waste is gathered by garbage trucks which are transported into industrial facilities for the process of reformation. It is deposited in facilities and sprayed with water before being crushed into small chunks for the further stages.

Following the process stage, these small chunks are cleansed by chemicals to eliminate contamination and particles before being heated with a large proportion of temperature. After that, they are moulded in frames to create can’s shape then undergone a process of weighting. Finally, cans are labeled by rollers and creating new cans.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

process: 5

waste: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main stages of the recycling process and provides a clear overall summary. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions, such as the mention of garbage trucks (not shown) and the omission of the 'Deposit' step. The description of the final steps could be more precise. To improve, ensure all key steps are included and avoid adding information not present in the diagram. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and a description of the process. However, the flow of information could be smoother. Some steps are grouped together, but the transitions between stages are occasionally abrupt. For example, the phrase 'Following the process stage' is vague and could be more precise. Using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'subsequently', 'thereafter', 'once this is complete') would improve the logical progression. Additionally, the final sentence is incomplete and disrupts the conclusion. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear stage of the process and that the sequence of steps is easy to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with some good attempts at topic-specific terms like 'reformation', 'contamination', and 'eliminate'. However, there is a lack of variety and sophistication. Words like 'process' and 'stage' are repeated, and phrases such as 'large proportion of temperature' are not natural or accurate. More precise and varied vocabulary (e.g., 'fragments' instead of 'chunks', 'purified' instead of 'cleansed', 'subjected to high heat') would enhance the lexical range. Also, avoid informal or imprecise terms like 'garbage trucks' (use 'collection vehicles' or 'refuse trucks') and 'cans' shape' (use 'the shape of the cans').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'waste is gathered by garbage trucks which are transported' is ambiguous (the trucks are transported, not the waste). 'then undergone a process' should be 'then undergo a process' or 'are then subjected to a process'. The final sentence 'cans are labeled by rollers and creating new cans' is grammatically incorrect and incomplete. Punctuation is mostly correct, but the overall accuracy needs improvement. To reach a higher band, ensure subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and complete sentences throughout.

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