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Band 5+: The diagram shows the skeletal systems of two ancestors of human beings Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The diagram shows the skeletal systems of two ancestors of human beings Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image compares skeletal systems of Australopithecus afarensis (walker & tree climber) and Homo erectus (walker & endurance runner). Australopithecus afarensis features: unbalanced head (long snout), high/narrow shoulders, wide chest, short/wide waist, long forearm, small gluteus maximus (not shown), long femoral neck, small hip/knee/ankle joints, short achilles tendon, small heel bone, long toes, partial foot arch. Homo erectus features: balanced head (short snout), low/wide shoulders, narrow chest, tall/narrow waist, short forearm, big gluteus maximus (not shown), short femoral neck, large hip/knee/ankle joints, long achilles tendon, enlarged heel bone, short toes, stabilized foot arch.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram shows the skeletal systems or two ancestors of modern human being.

The provided diagram compares two types of skeleton or two prehistoric human bodies. Overall, the skeletal systems experienced numerous significant changes such as the enlargement of the internal organs and the construction of several muscles. It is also worth noting that individuals evolved from a tree climber to an endurance runner.

Focusing on Australopithecus structure, this skeleton contained an unbalanced head with a long snout and high, narrow shoulders; whereas internal organs were wide and long. In the lower part, their legs were formed from small hips, knees and ankle joints, which had short achilles tendon, tiny heelbone and partial foot arch inside it; however, they had long toes outside.

Regarding Homo Erectus, this system saw considerable transformations throughout the timeframe. The head became balanced with short snout, shoulders shaped lower and wider, while large internal organs shaped narrow and shorter. Looking at the legs, their three main parts formed larger, where foot arch stabilized and toes decreased in size.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

internal: 3

organs: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing the two skeletal systems and highlighting some key differences. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions that detract from the overall effectiveness. For instance, the description of internal organs is vague and not entirely accurate, and some specific features (e.g., gluteus maximus, femoral neck) are omitted. The report also contains minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the main features and making clearer, more precise comparisons, while ensuring all key points from the visual are covered.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for each species. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'internal organs were wide and long' and 'their three main parts formed larger'). The use of cohesive devices is limited, and some sentences are overly long or run-on. To improve, use clearer topic sentences, vary linking words, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary related to anatomy (e.g., 'snout', 'shoulders', 'hips', 'knees', 'ankle joints', 'achilles tendon', 'heelbone', 'foot arch', 'toes'). However, there are inaccuracies and awkward choices, such as 'internal organs' instead of 'chest' or 'waist', and 'construction of several muscles' which is unclear. The range of vocabulary is limited, and some terms are repeated. To improve, use more precise and varied anatomical terms, and avoid vague or incorrect expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'skeletal systems or two ancestors' should be 'of two ancestors', and 'individuals evolved from a tree climber to an endurance runner' is a bit simplistic. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'had short achilles tendon' should be 'had a short Achilles tendon'). The range of sentence structures is limited, with many simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for common errors.

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