Bar Chart

Band 5+: The different leisure activities favoured by Canadian boys and girls.

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Image for topic: The different leisure activities favoured by Canadian boys and girls.

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The image depicts a bar chart titled "Favourite leisure activities of teenagers in Canada" with four categories: Sports at 30% (boys), 15% (girls); Computer Games at 25% (boys), 10% (girls); Music at 20% (boys), 20% (girls); and Shopping at 35% (girls), 5% (boys).

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The bar chart compares the favourite leisure activities of boys and girls in Canada in one particular year.

Overall, the highest percentages of the most popular leisure activities of teenagers in Canada for boys in shopping and sports are around 35% and just over 25%, moreover, girls favourite leisure activities between the age of 13 to 19, listening music almost 20% which was the highest percentage in the given country.

In terms of activity levels, the Canadian boys predominant choice during teenagers is shopping almost 35%. The second highest favourite activities the boys of Canada which is sports around 26%, in one particular year in the given country.

For the reminding categories, the lowest desired leisure activity in Canada for girls in shopping was just over 5% which is almost 29% less than boys. Also the second lowest favourite leisure activities for girls was almost 11% which is less than around 10% from boys in the same category in the given country.

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

leisure: 5

activities: 5

favourite: 4

girls: 4

canada: 4

almost: 4

which: 4

highest: 3

shopping: 3

around: 3

given: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes some inaccuracies and lacks clarity. The organization could be improved with a clearer structure, and the data description needs to be more precise and comprehensive. Focus on accurately representing the data and providing a more balanced overview of all categories.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and flow. The ideas are not presented in a logical order, and the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction is adequate, but the body paragraphs lack a clear focus and contain repetitive information. To improve coherence, consider grouping similar activities together and using transition words to connect ideas. For example, you could dedicate one paragraph to activities favored more by boys and another to those favored more by girls. Also, avoid unnecessary repetition of phrases like 'in the given country'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and lacks precision. While the report conveys the basic information, it could benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data more accurately and effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'highest percentage' or 'lowest percentage,' try using synonyms like 'most significant proportion' or 'least popular activity.' Also, be careful with word choice; for instance, 'reminding categories' should be 'remaining categories.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles and prepositions. For example, the sentence 'Overall, the highest percentages of the most popular leisure activities of teenagers in Canada for boys in shopping and sports are around 35% and just over 25%, moreover, girls favourite leisure activities between the age of 13 to 19, listening music almost 20% which was the highest percentage in the given country' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. To improve grammatical accuracy, review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully for errors. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that subjects and verbs agree.

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