Pie Chart

Band 7+: The first chart below shows how energy is used an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from his energy use.

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Image for topic: The first chart below shows how energy is used an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from his energy use.

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The image displays two pie charts. The first, 'Australian household energy use', shows a breakdown of: heating 42%, water heating 30%, other appliances 15%, refrigeration 7%, lighting 4%, and cooling 2%. The second chart, 'Australian household greenhouse gas emissions', shows the contributions from: water heating 32%, other appliances 28%, heating 15%, refrigeration 14%, lighting 8%, and cooling 3%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The first pie chart demonstrates the popularity of various types of energy in Australian families, and the second one illustrates the amount of gas that they emit during the use.

Overall, it’s clear from the graph that the most popular means of energy are heating and water heating.However, water heating and other appliances lead to the largest number of emissions.

Heating, which remains as a leader in Australian households, is used by 42% of people, but it emits merely 15% of gas emissions. In comparison, water heating, that is also well preferred (30% ), causes almost a third of the pollution.

In the meantime, the amount of energy used by Australians for other appliances constitutes 15 percent. However, similarly to water heating, it is considered as unprofitable mean of energy, because it emits double the emissions. Cooling, lighting and refrigeration get a very little preference: 2%, 4%, and 7% respectively. Pollution, in turn, is caused by 3 percent from cooling, just under a tenth by lighting, and unexpectedly, almost half of a third by refrigeration.

Word Count: 175

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

energy: 4

heating: 4

water: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and highlighting key features of both pie charts. There is a clear attempt to compare and contrast the data. However, there are some omissions and lapses in detail. To improve, consider including more specific data points and ensuring accuracy in the reported percentages. Also, focus on using more precise language to describe the relationships between energy use and emissions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the transitions between some sentences could be smoother to improve the flow. For example, in the third paragraph, the connection between the first and second sentences could be strengthened. Consider using cohesive devices like 'similarly' or 'in contrast' to link ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are instances where more precise word choices could enhance the description. For example, instead of 'popularity,' consider using 'consumption' or 'usage' when referring to energy. Also, the phrase 'unprofitable mean of energy' could be rephrased for clarity and impact, perhaps as 'inefficient energy source' or 'significant contributor to emissions'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a good command of grammar, but there are a few errors that affect clarity. For instance, 'Heating, which remains as a leader in Australian households, is used by 42% of people, but it emits merely 15% of gas emissions' could be improved by removing 'as a leader'. Also, 'Pollution, in turn, is caused by 3 percent from cooling, just under a tenth by lighting, and unexpectedly, almost half of a third by refrigeration' needs restructuring for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Pay close attention to sentence structure and word order to ensure accuracy.

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Band 7+: The first chart below shows how energy is used an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from his energy use.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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