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Band 7+: The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

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The line graph compares birth rates between China and the USA and how these rates changed from 1920 to 2000.

Overall, the birth rates of both nations fell dramatically throughout the period. However, it is notable that birth rates in the USA in most years were higher than those in China.

In 1920, the birth rates of China and the USA started at a nearly similar position at around 10%. Over the next 15-year period, both figures fluctuated constantly before dropping significantly in 1940 and lasted until 1945 with the same proportion at 5%.

The next 5 years witnessed a noticeable growth with China reaching a peak at 20%, four times higher than it was in 1945, and the USA following at 15%. However, between the rest of the period, the birth rate in China hit a trough of approximately 2% while the ones in the USA also declined gradually to 7% by the end of the century.

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

birth: 5

rates: 5

china: 4

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the trends in birth rates for China and the USA between 1920 and 2000. The overall trends are identified, and some specific data points are mentioned. To improve, include more specific data points and comparisons to support your statements. Also, ensure that all significant features of the graph are addressed, and the description is accurate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview, followed by detailed descriptions of specific periods. The progression of ideas is logical, and paragraphing is adequate. To improve coherence, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, making the transitions smoother and less predictable. For instance, instead of always starting a new sentence with a time reference, try using conjunctions or adverbs to show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and comparisons. Terms like 'fluctuated,' 'significantly,' 'noticeable growth,' 'peak,' and 'trough' are used appropriately. To further enhance lexical resource, try incorporating more precise vocabulary related to demographic trends and rates of change. For example, instead of 'dropping significantly,' you could use 'plummeting' or 'declining sharply.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of words like 'rate' and 'figure.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not significantly impede understanding. To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct use of prepositions, and proper tense usage. For example, in the sentence 'the ones in the USA also declined gradually to 7% by the end of the century,' ensure that the pronoun 'ones' clearly refers to 'birth rates' and that the verb tense is consistent. Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will enhance the overall quality of the writing.

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Band 7+: The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

Other Topics:

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Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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