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Band 7+: The graph below compares changes in the birth rates of China and the USA between 1920 – 2000.

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The line graph compares birth rates between China and USA and how these rates changed from 1920 to 2000.

Overall, the birth rates of both nations fell dramatically throughout the period. However, it is notable that birth rates in the USA in most years were higher than ones in China.

In 1920, the birth rates of China and the USA started at a nearly similar position at around 10%. Over the next 15-year period, both figures fluctuated constantly before dropping significantly in 1940 and lasted until 1945 with the same proportion at 5%.

The next 5 years witnessed a noticeable growth with China reaching a peak at 20%, four times higher than it was in 1945, and the USA following at 15%. However, between the rest of the period, the birth rate in China hit a trough of approximately 2% while the ones in the USA also declined gradually to 7% by the end of the century.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

birth: 5

rates: 5

china: 4

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides a reasonable overview of the trends in birth rates for China and the USA. The description of the data is generally accurate, and the report is organized logically. To improve, consider including more specific data points to support your statements and ensure all key features are highlighted. Also, refine the language to be more precise and avoid generalizations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overview and a logical progression of details. Paragraphing is effective. To improve coherence, consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, you could use more synonyms or reference words to avoid repetition and enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. To further enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more precise and sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and changes, such as 'plummeted,' 'plateaued,' or 'oscillated.' Also, be mindful of using the correct form of words (e.g., 'proportions' vs. 'rates'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. While generally accurate, there are a few instances where grammatical accuracy could be improved. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement ('rates...were higher than ones') and pronoun usage ('the ones in the USA'). Review and correct these minor errors to enhance the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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