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Band 6+: The graph below shows how people in one city in Australia buy music from 2015 to 2020.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows how people in one city in Australia buy music from 2015 to 2020.

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The image is a line graph titled 'Percentage of Total Music Sales by Method' plotting data from 2015 to 2020 against a percentage axis from 0 to 16. For the years 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020 respectively, the data points are: Streams at 8%, 8%, 10%, 10.8%, 13%, and 14%; Downloads at 4.5%, 5%, 3%, 6%, 5.5%, and 4%; and CDs purchased at 15%, 14%, 13%, 10.8%, 9%, and 7%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given chart illustrates how people in a specific city in Australia buy music between 2015 and 2020.

Overall, percentage of sales for streams increased moderately for CDs showed steadily decrease from 2015 to 2020. The rate of downloads’ total sales fluctuated in a following period.

In detail, in 2015, the figure of total music sales by streams was about 8%, and it grew steadily to 14% in 2020. On the other hand, the rate of sales for CDs dropped from about 15% in 2015, to under 8% in 2020.

Additionally, the figure of total music sales by downloads fluctuated. At first, which is 2015, the rate was just over 4%. In 2017, it fell from about 5% to about 3%. The rate of downloads sales in 2018 was 6% which was the highest in rate of downloads. After that, the percentage of music sales by downloads decreased slightly between 2018 and 2020.

Word Count: 153

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sales: 7

music: 4

about: 4

downloads: 4

total: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by describing the main trends in the three music purchasing methods over the given period. The overall trend is identified, and key data points are mentioned. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly affect clarity (e.g., 'percentage of sales for streams increased moderately for CDs showed steadily decrease'). Additionally, the report could be more concise and better organized, with clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. Minor data inaccuracies (e.g., 'under 8%' for CDs in 2020) are acceptable, but ensure that all figures are presented accurately. Overall, the response covers the requirements, but there is room for improvement in language precision and coherence.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the overview is somewhat unclear and contains a grammatical error that affects readability. The progression of ideas is logical, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward (e.g., 'In detail,' 'Additionally,' 'At first, which is 2015'). Paragraphing is adequate but could be improved by separating the overview more clearly from the details. To improve, ensure the overview is a concise summary of the main trends, and use a wider range of linking words and phrases naturally.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'increased moderately,' 'steadily decrease,' 'fluctuated,' 'dropped,' 'grew steadily'). However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'percentage of sales for streams increased moderately for CDs showed steadily decrease' and 'the figure of total music sales by streams.' The language is not always precise or natural. To improve, use more varied and accurate vocabulary (e.g., 'saw a steady rise,' 'experienced a decline,' 'remained relatively stable') and ensure correct collocations (e.g., 'the percentage of sales' instead of 'the figure of total music sales'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'percentage of sales for streams increased moderately for CDs showed steadily decrease' is missing a conjunction and has incorrect phrasing. Also, 'At first, which is 2015' is awkward and grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or lack proper connectors. To improve, focus on sentence structure, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use a wider range of grammatical structures (e.g., passive voice, relative clauses) with accuracy.

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Lexical Resource

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