Bar Chart

Band 4+: The graph below shows tha participation of australian children in sports outside the school hours in 2014Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where

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Image for topic: The graph below shows tha participation of australian children in sports outside the school hours in 2014Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where

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The image presents a bar graph comparing sports participation percentages between Australian boys and girls in 2014: boys' swimming at 13%, girls' swimming at 22%, boys' football at 17%, girls' football at 43%, boys' netball at 2%, girls' netball at 9%, boys' basketball at 8%, girls' basketball at 6%, boys without sports participation at 15%, girls without sports participation at 12%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart depicts the proportion of the participation of the sexe of Australian children in sport, such as swimming and football, after school in 2014.

A glance at the graph reveals that football is the most common sport for boys. Whereas, the girls prefer swimming and netball than the other sports.

Getting back to the details, the netball is the highest proportion for the girls, with just under 20%, in contrast for boys, it is lowest, under 5%. The opposite in football, the boys have the main proportion, account for 20%, and girls with lowest percentage account for just under 5%. Addtionlly in basketball and swimming , the numbers for both sexe are close. First, the swimming indicates an interval between 10 % and 15%. And basketball shows the interval between 55 and 10%.

ON the other hand, there are people do not practice sports, with percentage close 5% in both two sexe.

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

swimming: 4

proportion: 3

football: 3

girls: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies in data reporting that obscure the main features. For example, the report claims netball is the highest for girls and that football is the lowest for girls, which contradicts the provided data. Additionally, the description of basketball and the percentage of children not participating in sports are mathematically incorrect based on the visual description. To improve, focus on accurately extracting the numbers from the graph and ensuring that comparisons (such as which sport is most or least popular) are supported by the actual data presented.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor sentence structure and incorrect use of cohesive devices. For example, starting a sentence with 'Whereas' as a standalone fragment is grammatically incorrect. Additionally, transitions like 'Getting back to the details' are somewhat informal for an academic report. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions to link ideas within sentences rather than starting new sentences with them, and use more formal transitional phrases such as 'In terms of...' or 'Regarding...'.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains several spelling and usage errors (e.g., 'sexe' instead of 'sex', 'Addtionlly'). There is also a lack of precision in word choice; for instance, 'the numbers for both sexe are close' is quite vague. To improve, aim to use a wider range of academic synonyms for 'show' (e.g., illustrate, depict, represent) and 'proportion' (e.g., percentage, share, figure). Ensure that spelling is accurate to avoid distracting the reader. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the clarity of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the girls prefer swimming and netball than the other sports' should be 'prefer... to...'). The use of 'the' before certain nouns is inconsistent. To improve, practice constructing complex sentences using relative clauses and ensure that comparisons are grammatically sound (e.g., using 'higher than' or 'lower than' correctly).

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Band 4+: The graph below shows tha participation of australian children in sports outside the school hours in 2014Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where

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Coherence & Cohesion

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The graph below shows tha participation of australian children in sports outside the school hours in 2014Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature and make comparisons where

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the percentage contribution of the IT and service industries to the GDP

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The graph shows changes in meat production worldwide between 2010 and 2020.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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