Bar Chart

Band 5+: the graph below shows the employment rate of each gender in four different countries in 2002. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: the graph below shows the employment rate of each gender in four different countries in 2002. summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows employment rates in 2002 for males and females in South Africa (Male: 40%, Female: 20%), Chile (Male: 70%, Female: 40%), Finland (Male: 70%, Female: 60%), and Norway (Male: 75%, Female: 70%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given bar chart illustrates information about the employment rate in 2002. Additionally, bar chart shows employment rate of males and females in four countries.

Overall, the bar chart shows employment rates of 4 countries in 2002. The chart shows that women have lower rate than men in all four countries. The lowest rate is women that are unemployed in Chile.

In South Africa males was employed for 50%, and females was about 38%. In the Chile, on the other hand the highest disparity by the gender, while males’ percentage is 70%, womens’ percentage is only abpput 34%.

Nevertheless, Finland and Norways’ rates are higher than the other two countries. Besides that, in Finland nearly 70% of men and about 66% of women are employed respectively. Additionally, Norway have the highest employement rate among the four countries. Nearly 80% of men are occupied by work, while womens’ rate is 75%.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

chart: 4

countries: 4

about: 3

employment: 3

shows: 3

women: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some main features but includes inaccuracies in the data. The structure is somewhat clear, but the language could be more precise and varied. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The introduction is repetitive. The overview is present but could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and transitions, making it difficult to follow the comparisons between countries and genders. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There is some repetition of words and phrases (e.g., 'employment rate,' 'countries'). The report would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to describe the data and make comparisons more effectively. For example, instead of 'lower rate,' consider using 'lower employment rate,' 'smaller proportion,' or 'reduced participation.' Instead of 'highest disparity,' consider 'largest difference' or 'most significant gap.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('males was employed'), subject-verb agreement issues ('women have lower rate'), and incorrect use of articles ('in the Chile'). Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Punctuation errors are also present. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the report. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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