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Band 4+: The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

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The image indicates weekly hospital admissions over 2004-2018 for Fortsmith (2004: 250, 2006: 275, 2008: 240, 2010: 275, 2012: 280, 2014: 270, 2016: 285, 2018: 250), Adlin (2004: 180, 2006: 200, 2008: 220, 2010: 250, 2012: 225, 2014: 230, 2016: 240, 2018: 250), Stanton (2004: 60, 2006: 80, 2008: 90, 2010: 100, 2012: 120, 2014: 125, 2016: 160, 2018: 140), Bardley (2004: 200, 2006: 210, 2008: 220, 2010: 230, 2012: 240, 2014: 250, 2016: 245, 2018: 265), and Oxley (2004: 150, 2006: 160, 2008: 170, 2010: 180, 2012: 160, 2014: 155, 2016: 150, 2018: 135).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the number of people admitted to hospital in Europ,between 2004 and 2018.

Overall,through the period the Bardley hospital had the highest number of patients while at the beginning of the period the Oxley had high level of people,but experienced a significant decline.

In 2004 Oxley weekly hospital the figure gradually decreased from 269 to 101 in 2018.Meanwhile the Adlin was significant raised from 2010 to the end of the year,from 140 to 250.However,at the beginning of the year the Bardley had 200 people treated at this hospital but in the 2018 increased to 280.

The Stanton hospital,only approximately 70 people were admitted in 2004 and this gradually climbed to slightly 150 in 2018.Lastly the Fortsmith weekly hospital fluctuated over 200 patient whole period.

Word Count: 127

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hospital: 5

people: 3

period: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends for the five hospitals, but it contains some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the data for Oxley and Adlin are not precisely reported, and the description of Bardley's trend is incomplete. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs, but the language could be more precise and varied. To improve, ensure that all key data points are accurately described and that the overview highlights the most significant trends more clearly. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the overview mentions 'the beginning of the period' and 'a significant decline' without specifying which hospital, and the body paragraphs jump between hospitals without clear signposting. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure each paragraph focuses on a coherent set of data points. Additionally, use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'while' to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited in range and precision. There are some attempts at using appropriate language (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'gradually climbed'), but there are also inaccuracies and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'high level of people', 'significant raised', 'slightly 150'). To improve, expand your range of synonyms for describing trends (e.g., 'rose steadily', 'peaked at', 'dropped sharply') and ensure that word choices are precise and natural. Avoid informal or incorrect expressions and use more sophisticated vocabulary where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include missing articles ('the Bardley hospital' should be 'Bardley hospital' or 'the Bardley Hospital'), incorrect verb forms ('was significant raised' should be 'rose significantly'), and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and prepositions. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with subordinate clauses, and ensure that grammar and punctuation are accurate throughout. Proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb tense consistency would be beneficial.

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Band 4+: The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

The graph below shows the hospital admissions for five hospitals in a European country from 2004 to 2018.

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