Line Graph

Band 4+: The graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city; by gender. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features1 and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the number of cell phone subscribers in a particular city; by gender. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features1 and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image includes a line graph titled "Cell Phone Subscribers, Marysville," displaying subscriber counts from 1995 to 2015, differentiated by gender. For men, the values start from approximately 200 in 1995 and rise to 500 in 2000, 1400 in 2005, 2400 in 2010, and 2800 in 2015. For women, the values start from approximately 150 in 1995, then increase to 600 in 2000, 1700 in 2005, exceeding men slightly at 2500 in 2010, and reaching 2900 in 2015. Y-axis represents subscribers in hundreds from 0 to 3000, in increments of 500, while the X-axis represents years in increments of 5 years.

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This line graph illustrates the number of cell phone subscribers in Marysville by two genders of men and women from 1995 to 2015

The line graph, has significant changes from 1995 to 2015 for both genders but, that is more invisible for men.

The year 1995 indicates the lowest, with 500 subscribers for both genders, and the year 2005 is the highest range of cellphone subscribers with 2500 during this year’s. And we can see that between 1995 to 2055 there aren’t essential differences among men and women. From 2005 to 2015, suddenly the numbers of cellphone usages for women decreased to approximately 2250 but for men it is exactly opposite of it and after 2005 to 2015 we can see the significant increase to which is about 2750 subscribers.

We can guess that because after 2005 we experienced the population growth, the women have more children and they should stay home and be careful about their parents and because of this they don’t use cellphones as much as men.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 4

subscribers: 3

genders: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant inaccuracies and irrelevant speculation. The data interpretation is flawed, and the analysis lacks precision. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph, avoiding personal opinions or external assumptions, and structuring the report with a clear overview, key features, and relevant comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt to organize information, but the flow of ideas is not always clear. Paragraphing is present but could be improved to better separate distinct points or time periods. Transitions between sentences and ideas are sometimes abrupt, hindering the overall coherence. For example, the shift from describing the graph's overall trend to specific years feels disjointed. Improve the logical flow by using clearer transitions and organizing information into more cohesive paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the data. There are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, using 'invisible' to describe the changes for men is not appropriate. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is little evidence of sophisticated control. To improve, focus on using more specific and varied vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and quantities. Consider using synonyms for words like 'increase' and 'decrease' to add nuance to your descriptions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Sentence structure is often awkward, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. For example, 'The line graph, has significant changes' contains an unnecessary comma and incorrect sentence structure. The final sentence introduces speculative reasoning that is not supported by the graph and contains grammatical issues. To improve, focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences and proofreading carefully for errors. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and accuracy of your writing.

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