Letter

Band 4+: The graph Below shows the number of enquiries to tourist information office made by telephone, letter/email, and iin person from January 2001 to june 2001.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons Where relevant.

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The line chart illustrates the number of inquiries made to the tourist information office through numerous means of communication between January and June in 2010.

Overall, it is apparent the number of enquiries in person followed an upward trend, whereas by email or letter showed a downward trend throughout the period shown in the chart.

At the beginning of the month, the communication of telephone recorded the highest number of enquiries at approximately 800, which was considerably higher than by email or letter at around 600 enquiries. However, the situation had reversed, with telephone reaching 1100 enquiries compared with just 200 enquires in June, making the least number of enquires among the three platforms.

In terms of person, the number of enquires stood at around 400, but this figure rose dramatically to almost 450 enquires until March. Whereas email or letter declined steadily to roughly 500 enquires. In addition, from March to May, the figure for in person had some fluctuations almost 860 to 1100 enquires, and reaching a peak of about 1200 enquires.

Word Count: 174

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

enquires: 7

number: 5

enquiries: 4

person: 3

email: 3

letter: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The response addresses the task by describing the main trends and making some comparisons, but it contains several inaccuracies and inconsistencies. The data for telephone and email/letter is misreported (e.g., telephone starts at 800 and ends at 1100, while email/letter starts at 600 and ends at 200, which contradicts the actual graph). The description of in-person enquiries is confusing and contains errors (e.g., 'stood at around 400' but then 'rose dramatically to almost 450' is not dramatic; 'fluctuations almost 860 to 1100' is unclear and inconsistent with the peak of 1200). The letter also incorrectly states the year as 2010 instead of 2001. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting, use clear and precise language, and structure the response with a clear overview and logically organized paragraphs. Avoid vague or contradictory statements.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter has a clear overall structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references. For example, 'At the beginning of the month' should be 'At the beginning of the period' to avoid confusion. The paragraphing is adequate, but the final paragraph mixes trends and fluctuations without clear logical progression. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear set of comparisons and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'upward trend', 'downward trend', 'rose dramatically', 'declined steadily'), which is appropriate for the task. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions: 'enquiries' is misspelled multiple times (should be 'enquiries' or 'inquiries'), and 'numerous means of communication' could be more precise. Also, 'in person' is used as a noun phrase but should be 'in-person enquiries' or 'enquiries made in person'. To improve, vary word choice and ensure correct spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. For example, 'the communication of telephone' should be 'telephone communication' or 'enquiries by telephone'. There are also subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'the number of enquiries in person followed' is correct, but later 'the figure for in person had some fluctuations' is awkward). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or lack clarity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences) and proofread for common errors like subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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