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Band 5+: The graph below shows the results of a survey among online adults on their use of various social media in the USA between 2012 and 201 5.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the results of a survey among online adults on their use of various social media in the USA between 2012 and 201 5.

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The image details percentages of online adults in the USA using various websites from 2012 to 2015: Facebook at 67% (2012), 72% (2013), 71% (2014), 72% (2015); Pinterest at 15% (2012), 21% (2013), 28% (2014), 31% (2015); Instagram at 12% (2012), 17% (2013), 26% (2014), 28% (2015); LinkedIn at 20% (2012), 22% (2013), 28% (2014), 25% (2015); Twitter at 16% (2012), 18% (2013), 23% (2014), 23% (2015).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graph demonstrates the rusult of a survey among aged people on their use of 5 types of social media. These media are Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter. The timespan of the survey was between 2012 and 2015.

The graph shows that their use was increasing from 2012 to 2013. LinkedIn users were getting down slighty over the period. On the other hand, the users of Pinterest and Twitter were increased around 10% and reached to 31% in 2015. The most of the aged people were fond of using Facebook. In 2012, the percentange of Facebook users was 67% and it grew only 5% in the year of 2015.

In conclusion, among all social media, people were more addicted in Facebook. Although the change in users were very less than the other media. In the end of the period, the lowest number of online website was Twitter and the highest users were Facebook. Therefore, the noteable rising of various social media was occured in the year of 2014.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

media: 5

facebook: 5

users: 5

people: 3

social: 3

twitter: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of trends is somewhat general and lacks specific data to support the observations. The organization is acceptable, but the language contains errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on providing more precise data references, using a wider range of vocabulary, and ensuring grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the progression of ideas is not always smooth. The introduction could be more concise, and the overview of the main trends could be clearer. The body paragraphs lack a clear structure, making it difficult to follow the specific details and comparisons. The conclusion is repetitive and doesn't add significant insight. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clear structure with well-defined paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the data. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure a logical flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks precision. There are instances of inaccurate word choice ('aged people' instead of 'online adults') and overuse of simple words ('use,' 'increase'). The report does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary or sophisticated control of lexical features. To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to trends, comparisons, and changes over time. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms for common words and phrases, and pay attention to the specific nuances of different words to ensure accurate usage. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('their use was increasing'), subject-verb agreement issues ('users of Pinterest and Twitter were increased'), and awkward phrasing ('LinkedIn users were getting down slighty'). There are also issues with article usage ('the rusult,' 'the most of the aged people') and prepositional phrases. The range of sentence structures is limited, and the overall accuracy is compromised by these errors. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Practice writing a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, and proofread your work carefully to identify and correct errors.

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