Line Graph

Band 4+: The graph shows how many people were employed in the Australian mining industry from 1900 to 1990

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Image for topic: The graph shows how many people were employed in the Australian mining industry from 1900 to 1990

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The image displays a chart showcasing Australian mining industry employees from 1900 to 1990, detailing thousands of employees approximately as follows: 1900 - 60; 1910 - 40; 1920 - 40; 1930 - 20; 1940 - 20; 1950 - 60; 1960 - 50; 1970 - 30; 1980 - 20; 1990 - 10.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line Graph describes how many Australian people are working in mining industry from the period of time from 1900 to 1990.

Overall in 1900 and 1950 there are more people who employed in mining industry in Australia. 1910 to 1940 and in 1660 they employed remain same from 1960 to 1990 its ratio is decreased.

From the very start of century 1900 and mid 1950 there are more people who employed as miners in Australia that is 58% and 60%. while it’s percentage is between 30% and 40% from 1910 to 1940.

While 1960 it again decreases in percentage as there was less number of employees who worked as miner in Australia. In 1970 to 1990 these is huge decline in amount of person working as minners that was below 20%.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 3

there: 3

employed: 3

australia: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some issues with accuracy and clarity. The use of percentages is not entirely accurate and could be improved by using the actual numbers from the graph. The language is also quite basic and could be improved by using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on providing more precise data from the graph and using more sophisticated language to describe the trends. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and paragraphing. The flow of information is difficult to follow due to abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. Consider using more transitional phrases and organizing the information into logical paragraphs to improve readability.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of precise language to describe the trends and data. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to trends and quantities, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' 'experienced a decline,' etc. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction.

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