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Band 5+: the graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on childrens sports and participation in different sports in uk from 2008 to 2014.

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The image displays a graph indicating the number of children in the UK participating in different sports from 2008 to 2014. Football participation shows a slight upward trend starting at 8 million in 2008, slightly rising to around 8.5 million in 2010, maintaining this level through 2012, and reaching approximately 9 million in 2014. Athletics participation starts at 0.5 million in 2008, grows to about 1 million in 2010, rises sharply to 3 million by 2012, and then stabilizes at 5 million by 2014. Swimming participation begins just below 2.5 million in 2008, with a steady increase to 2.5 million in 2010, climbs to around 3 million in 2012, and continues rising evenly to reach just over 3.5 million by 2014.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The supplied line graph presents data on the average monthly spending on children’s physical activity, along with a comparison of youngsters taking part in various sports in the UK over 7 years.

Overall, all three sports (football, athletics and swimming) illustrate upward-trends, while football consistently remained the most popular sport, as well as the most expensive one. Swimming was overtaken by athletics which became the second most popular and high-cost activity.

At the beginning of the period, athletics was done by only 1 million of children, with the same amount of money was spent on it, that made it the least popular and the cheapest leisure activity. Moreover, this tendency remained stable until 2010, when there was a sharp rise to 5 million by 2012. Thus, athletics surpassed swimming shortly before 2011. Afterwards, the second costly and widespread sport was tediously sliding to around 5 million.

Football has been holding leadership position during all 7 years. It only slightly dipped for about 100,000 children and dollars in 2010, but then recovered and increased gradually to 9 million. Out of 3 sports, swimming did not decrease. At the outlet of the period, only 2 million kids did this activity, besides the similar average monthly expenditure. Since then, numbers were moderately rising by almost 2 million. Having said that, swimming still left the second.

Word Count: 222

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 5

athletics: 4

swimming: 4

activity: 3

sports: 3

popular: 3

second: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address all parts of the task by discussing both participation numbers and expenditure. However, there are significant issues with data accuracy and clarity. Some figures mentioned (such as the 2 million children for swimming at the end of the period) contradict the trends described elsewhere in the text. Additionally, the description of the trends is occasionally confusing, particularly in the final paragraph where the relationship between swimming and the other sports is not clearly articulated. To improve, ensure that all data points cited are consistent with your own overview and that the comparison between the two different metrics (expenditure vs. participation) is handled with more precision.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise cohesive devices. For instance, the use of 'Thus' and 'Afterwards' in the third paragraph feels somewhat forced. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of transition signals that naturally link trends (e.g., 'In contrast,' 'Following this,' or 'Conversely') and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one without abrupt shifts in tone.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'overtaken,' 'surpassed,' 'leadership position'), but many word choices are inaccurate or unnatural in an academic context. Phrases like 'tediously sliding,' 'at the outlet of the period,' and 'swimming still left the second' are non-standard and obscure the intended meaning. Additionally, the term 'dollars' is used despite the task specifying the UK, where pounds would be the appropriate currency. Aim for more precise academic collocations, such as 'reached a peak,' 'experienced a steady increase,' or 'remained the most significant category.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and sentence construction (e.g., 'with the same amount of money was spent on it' is grammatically incorrect). There are also errors in preposition usage and article placement. To improve, practice using relative clauses more accurately and ensure that complex sentences are built on a solid foundation of correct tense usage, particularly when describing trends over a specific historical period.

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