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Band 5+: the graphs below show the average monthly expenditure on childrens sports and participation in different sports in uk from 2008 to 2014.

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The image displays a graph indicating the number of children in the UK participating in different sports from 2008 to 2014. Football participation shows a slight upward trend starting at 8 million in 2008, slightly rising to around 8.5 million in 2010, maintaining this level through 2012, and reaching approximately 9 million in 2014. Athletics participation starts at 0.5 million in 2008, grows to about 1 million in 2010, rises sharply to 3 million by 2012, and then stabilizes at 5 million by 2014. Swimming participation begins just below 2.5 million in 2008, with a steady increase to 2.5 million in 2010, climbs to around 3 million in 2012, and continues rising evenly to reach just over 3.5 million by 2014.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The supplied line graph presents the data on the average monthly spending on children’s physical activity, along with a comparison of youngsters’ numbers taking part in various sports in the UK during 7 years.

Overall, all tree sports (football, athletics and swimming) illustrate upward-trends, while football consistently remained the most popular sport, as well as the most expensive. Swimming was overtaken by athletics which became the second most popular and high-cost.

At the beginning of the period, athletics was done by only around 1 million of children, with the same amount of money spent, that made it the least popular and the cheapest leisure activity. Moreover, this tendency remained stable until 2010, when there was a sharp rise to 5 million by 2012. Thus, it surpassed swimming shortly before 2011. Afterwards, the second costly and widespread sport was tediously sliding to around 5 million.

Football has been holding leadership position for all 7 years. It only slightly dipped for about 100,000 children and dollars in 2010, but then recovered and increased gradually to 9 million. Out of 3 sports, only swimming did not decrease. At the outlet of the period, only 2 million kids did this activity, besides the similar average monthly expenditure. Since then, numbers were moderately rising by almost 2 million. Having said that, swimming leaved the second.

Word Count: 220

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 5

swimming: 4

activity: 3

sports: 3

athletics: 3

popular: 3

second: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the main trends and makes relevant comparisons between the sports mentioned. However, there are several issues with data accuracy and clarity that affect the overall coherence. Some descriptions of the trends are contradictory (e.g., stating swimming did not decrease, but then mentioning it dipped), and certain phrases are used in ways that obscure the meaning (e.g., 'tediously sliding' or 'at the outlet of the period'). To improve, ensure that the relationship between the two different datasets (expenditure vs. participation) is clearly distinguished and that the mathematical trends described align strictly with the visual evidence provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report struggles with logical progression and clarity in the latter half. While the overview is present, the organization of the body paragraphs is somewhat confusing, particularly when trying to link expenditure with participation numbers. Some cohesive devices and transitions (e.g., 'Thus', 'Afterwards', 'Having said that') are used, but they do not always lead to a clear or logical connection between ideas. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the relationship between the two different datasets (spending vs. participation) is explicitly and clearly defined.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'overtaken', 'surpassed', 'leadership position'), but there are several instances of inappropriate word choices and awkward phrasing that obscure meaning. For example, 'all tree sports' (instead of three), 'tediously sliding', 'at the outlet of the period', and 'swimming leaved the second' are non-standard or incorrect. Focus on learning precise collocations for describing trends and ensuring that word choices are used in the correct context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes impede communication. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and word formation (e.g., 'leaved' instead of 'left'). Additionally, some sentence structures are awkward, such as 'athletics was done by only around 1 million of children'. Aim for greater accuracy in verb forms and work on constructing clearer, more standard complex sentences to describe data changes.

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