Line Graph

Band 5+: The line graph shows the percentage of graduates in full-time employment 4 months after graduation from 1999 to 2014.

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The image shows percentages of graduates in full-time employment six months after graduation from 1999 to 2014 for three disciplines. Dentistry: 1999-96%, 2000-96%, 2001-95%, 2002-97%, 2003-96%, 2004-94%, 2005-98%, 2006-96%, 2007-98%, 2008-96%, 2009-96%, 2010-98%, 2011-96%, 2012-97%, 2013-96%, 2014-96%. Electronic/Computer Engineer: 1999-85%, 2000-85%, 2001-85%, 2002-79%, 2003-83%, 2004-85%, 2005-82%, 2006-89%, 2007-83%, 2008-81%, 2009-79%, 2010-80%, 2011-81%, 2012-85%, 2013-79%, 2014-76%. Computer Science: 1999-84%, 2000-84%, 2001-84%, 2002-80%, 2003-77%, 2004-79%, 2005-77%, 2006-85%, 2007-77%, 2008-76%, 2009-76%, 2010-73%, 2011-74%, 2012-78%, 2013-73%, 2014-65%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Line graph demonstrates the porportion of the new student that just finished their studies and got a job within four months after graduation in 4 years.

Overall, the dentist are the highest who got hired comparing to the engineers and computer science students.

The two line graph of Electronics, Computer Engineer and Computer Science students who got the job after graduation with 4 months approximately same percentages with start of 85 to 86 percent in 1999, it fell down to approximately arround 68-75% of both graphs. While the dentistry graph remains steady, Electronics, Computer Engineer and Computer Science student’s graph shifted from decline to a rise arriving to the highest percentage in 2008, 84-89 percent. After that the percentage of graduates in full time employment decreased to 66-75 percent in the next 6 years.

The percentage of graduates in a full time employment for Dentistry students the graph was slightly fluctuated from 1999 till 2008 and then it remains steady for three years. However in the last years from 2011 till 2014 the percentage of graduates witnessed a decrease.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graph: 5

computer: 5

percentage: 4

after: 3

science: 3

percent: 3

graduates: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of specific data. The description of trends is somewhat general and could benefit from more precise figures. To improve, focus on providing more specific data points and avoid vague language like 'approximately' and 'arround'. Also, ensure that all time periods are covered and that the overall trends are clearly identified with supporting data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the graph. Use cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) to link ideas and sentences smoothly. Ensure that each sentence logically follows from the previous one and contributes to the overall understanding of the graph's trends.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to accurately describe the data. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., "porportion" instead of "proportion", "arriving to the highest percentage"). To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to trends (e.g., "increased steadily," "fluctuated significantly," "reached a peak"). Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and expand your range of descriptive words.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and comprehension. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work, paying close attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance grammatical range, but ensure that each sentence is grammatically correct.

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Band 5+: The line graph shows the percentage of graduates in full-time employment 4 months after graduation from 1999 to 2014.

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The line graph shows the percentage of graduates in full-time employment 4 months after graduation from 1999 to 2014.

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