Bar Chart

Band 7+: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group for the years 2007 and 2009, with data as follows: Age group 15-25: 2007 at 20%, 2009 at 30%; Age group 26-35: 2007 at 30%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 36-45: 2007 at 35%, 2009 at 45%; Age group 46-55: 2007 at 25%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 56-65: 2007 at 15%, 2009 at 20%; Age group 65+: 2007 at 5%, 2009 at 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graphs gives information about rate based on six age groups of people who use online shopping between 2007 and 2009 in Australia.

Overall, the percentage of online shoppers aged 26-45 had the highest rate in both years, while people aged 65+ had the smallest proportion.

In 2007, online shopping was most common among people aged 26-35, with just over 30% of internet users purchasing goods online. This figure was noticeably higher than that of the 36-45 age group, which stood at around 25%. However, by 2009, the trend changed. The proportion of online shoppers aged 36-45 rose sharply to approximately 38%, overtaking the 26-35 group, whose figure increased more moderately to about 32%.

A similar pattern could be seen among younger users aged 15-25 and those aged 46-55. Both groups recorded rates of around 20% in 2007. Over the two-year period, online shopping became significantly more popular among people aged 46-55, reaching nearly 28% in 2009, while the youngest group experienced only a slight rise to about 22%.

Word Count: 169

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 6

people: 4

about: 3

shopping: 3

among: 3

group: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes some comparisons, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported. For example, the 36-45 age group was at 35% in 2007, not 25%. Also, in 2009, the 36-45 age group rose to 45%, not 38%, and the 26-35 age group rose to 40%, not 32%. Finally, the 46-55 age group reached 40% in 2009, not 28%, and the 15-25 age group rose to 30%, not 22%. Paying closer attention to the data will improve the accuracy of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The overall trends and specific data points are presented logically. However, there are some opportunities to improve the flow and connection between paragraphs. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother by explicitly linking the overall trend to the specific data being discussed. Also, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the connection between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task. Terms like 'proportion,' 'noticeably higher,' 'rose sharply,' and 'experienced only a slight rise' are effectively used to describe the data. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more precise vocabulary related to trends and comparisons, such as 'outpaced,' 'surpassed,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a strong command of grammar with very few errors. The sentence structures are varied and appropriate for academic writing. While the grammar is generally accurate, ensure consistent use of articles and prepositions. For example, double-check phrases like 'rate based on six age groups' to ensure they are grammatically sound and clear.

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Band 7+: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

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The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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