Bar Chart

Band 4+: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The percentage of internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group 2007-2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image shows internet users who shopped online in Australia by age group for the years 2007 and 2009, with data as follows: Age group 15-25: 2007 at 20%, 2009 at 30%; Age group 26-35: 2007 at 30%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 36-45: 2007 at 35%, 2009 at 45%; Age group 46-55: 2007 at 25%, 2009 at 40%; Age group 56-65: 2007 at 15%, 2009 at 20%; Age group 65+: 2007 at 5%, 2009 at 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart gives information about internet users purchased online by different age group from 2014 to 2018 where is in Australia.

Overall, it is also clear that 26-35 and 35-45 aged group had increases between periods but old aged group that is 65+ years old was the lowest percentage among age groups by shopping-online.

With regard to 35-45 and 26-35 aged groups. There were growth for developing of shopping-online during years. Namely, this were about 26 and 31 % in 2014 respectively while approximately 38 and 34 % in 2018. Furthermore, 45-55 age group was continuing to grow following the first group, in 2018, this was around 37%.

Look at old aged group, that is the lowest percentage between shopping-online. This was 5 and 11 percentage of internet users among two years. And then, 55-65 aged group almost the same result.

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

group: 7

years: 3

percentage: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but fails significantly in terms of data accuracy and consistency. There is a major discrepancy between the years mentioned in the task (2007-2009) and the years reported in the text (2014-2018). Additionally, the data points provided in the report do not align with the visual description provided. To improve, ensure that all dates and figures are transcribed accurately from the visual information and that the overview captures the most significant trends across all categories rather than just a few specific groups. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of the report is somewhat logical, but the progression of ideas is hindered by poor sentence structure and punctuation. There are several instances of sentence fragments (e.g., 'With regard to 35-45 and 26-35 aged groups.') that do not form complete thoughts. To improve, ensure that every sentence has a subject and a verb, and use cohesive devices (like 'In contrast', 'Similarly', or 'Regarding') to link ideas more smoothly rather than starting sentences abruptly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and often used incorrectly, which makes the report difficult to follow. Phrases like 'growth for developing of shopping-online' and 'old aged group' are unnatural. You should aim to use more precise academic collocations, such as 'an upward trend,' 'the highest proportion,' or 'the most significant increase.' Avoid repetitive phrasing and try to use synonyms for 'age group' (e.g., 'demographic,' 'age bracket,' or 'cohort'). Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the clarity of the report. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this were'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'where is in Australia'). Additionally, the use of tense is inconsistent. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that your descriptions of data (percentages and years) follow standard English patterns, such as 'The percentage of [group] was [number] in [year].'

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