Bar Chart

Band 5+: The graph below shows the number of Asian elephants between 1997 and 2004.

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Image for topic: The graph below shows the number of Asian elephants between 1997 and 2004.

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The image displays a bar chart illustrating the number of Asian elephants in 1997 and 2004 across various countries. For 1997, the approximate numbers were: Vietnam 1,400, India 10,000, Malaysia 3,100, Sri Lanka 3,200, Cambodia 1,600, Laos 1,500, Myanmar 5,000, Thailand 3,900, and China 700. For 2004, the numbers were: Vietnam 1,300, India 7,800, Malaysia 1,000, Sri Lanka 3,100, Cambodia 1,800, Laos 1,600, Myanmar 4,800, Thailand 1,600, and China 500.

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The provided graph compares the number of Asian elephants in nine different countries in1997 and 2004.

Overall, the populations of asian elephants was decrease significantly in some nation like India, Malaysia and Thiland. Meanwhile, India had the highest number of asian elephants, conversely China had lowest number of elephants among the nine distinct countries.

In 1997, India had 10,000 of elephant and these figures dropped to 7,000 in 2004 , however Indian remained at the first position for the highest number of elephants. In Malaysia, these figures stood at 3,000 and dropped significantly to less than 1,000 in 2004. Furthermore, Thailand had 4,000 of elephants in 1997, but they decrease daramatically to 1,700 in 2004, conversely China had a slight drop in their figure from 500 to 250.

Myammer had the second most highest number of elephants in the given list of countries had 5,000 in 1997, which slighlt decrease to 4,600 in 2004. By contrast, number of elephants in Laos, Cambodia, Sri Lanka and Veitenam remained approximatley same thoughout the period at 500, 800, 2500 and 750 respectively.

Word Count: 179

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

elephants: 8

number: 6

asian: 3

decrease: 3

india: 3

highest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by comparing the number of Asian elephants in 1997 and 2004 across several countries. It provides an overall trend and highlights key countries. However, there are several inaccuracies in the data (e.g., India's 2004 figure, Malaysia's 2004 figure, China's figures, and the final paragraph's numbers for Laos, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, and Vietnam). Additionally, some countries are omitted or not clearly described, and there are minor spelling and grammatical errors. To improve, ensure data accuracy, include all countries, and proofread for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the sentence 'Myammer had the second most highest number of elephants in the given list of countries had 5,000 in 1997' is confusing due to the repetition of 'had' and the lack of a clear subject-verb relationship. Additionally, the final sentence lists several countries with approximate values that do not match the data, and the phrasing 'remained approximatley same thoughout the period' is unclear. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast', 'similarly') more effectively to link sentences and ideas. Also, avoid run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete.

Lexical Resource

The report uses some appropriate vocabulary for describing trends (e.g., 'decrease significantly', 'dropped', 'slight drop'), but there are several spelling errors and awkward word choices that detract from the overall quality. For example, 'daramatically' should be 'dramatically', 'slighlt' should be 'slightly', 'approximatley' should be 'approximately', and 'thoughout' should be 'throughout'. Additionally, phrases like 'the second most highest' are redundant; 'second highest' would be more natural. To improve lexical resource, focus on using a wider range of precise vocabulary (e.g., 'declined', 'plummeted', 'remained stable') and ensure correct spelling and word forms. Also, avoid informal or incorrect expressions such as 'had 10,000 of elephant' - use 'had 10,000 elephants' or 'the number of elephants was 10,000'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the populations of asian elephants was decrease significantly' should be 'the populations of Asian elephants decreased significantly' (subject-verb agreement and verb form). Also, 'in1997' should be 'in 1997' (missing space), and 'Indian remained' should be 'India remained' (wrong word form). The sentence 'By contrast, number of elephants in Laos, Cambodia, Sri Lanka and Veitenam remained approximatley same thoughout the period at 500, 800, 2500 and 750 respectively' lacks an article before 'number' and has spelling errors. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, practice using correct verb tenses (past simple for specific years), ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for spelling and punctuation. Also, vary sentence structures by using complex sentences with subordinate clauses, but ensure they are grammatically correct.

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