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Band 7+: The percentage of people living in Australia who were born in Asia, the UK, and other regions

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The image shows percentages of people in Australia born in Asia, the UK, and Other regions for the years 1976, 1981, 1986, 1991, 1996, 2001, 2006, and 2011. In 1976, the percentages were UK at about 15%, Other at about 12%, Asia at about 3%, and Total at about 22%. For 1981, UK was around 14%, Other remained approximately 12%, Asia slightly above 5%, and Total near 21%. In 1986, UK dipped to around 12%, Other stayed around 12%, Asia rose to approximately 7%, and Total hovered around 20%. By 1991, UK fell slightly below 12%, Other slightly above 12%, Asia about 8%, and Total around 19%. In 1996, UK continued decreasing to about 10%, Other about 13%, Asia approached 9%, and Total steadied around 18%. For 2001, UK lowered to approximately 8%, Other about 14%, Asia near 11%, and Total roughly constant at 18%. In 2006, UK dropped further to below 8%, Other around 16%, Asia surged over 13%, and Total remained near 18%. By 2011, UK decreased to around 6%, Other peaked near 18%, Asia spiked to 14%, and Total rose to about 25%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The provided line graph provides information about the percentage of individuals whose birthplaces were Asia, the UK, and other regions, but who were living in Australia from 1976 to 2011.

Overall, it is clear that the percentages of people from Asia and other regions were increasing, while, on the contrary, the percentage of people from the UK was decreasing. The total percentage of individuals from these three regions slightly increased.

At the beginning of the period, the UK had the highest percentage, standing at nearly 13%, while Asia had the lowest percentage, standing at 2.5% in 1976. At the end of the period, on the contrary, the UK was the lowest, standing at 5%, and Asia was the highest, standing at 15% in 2011.

Looking at other regions, the percentage of individuals living in Australia was about 11% in 1976, and almost did not change though time, standing at approximately 13%. Regarding the total percentage, it was about 23% in 1976 and 25% in 2011.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 7

standing: 5

regions: 4

about: 3

individuals: 3

other: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the main trends and provides a clear overview. It correctly identifies the overall increase in Asian and 'Other' percentages, the decrease in UK-born residents, and the slight increase in the total. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in the specific data points (e.g., UK at 13% in 1976, Asia at 2.5%, and the total at 23%), which are slightly off from the provided figures. Additionally, the report omits some details about the fluctuations in the 'Other' category and the total percentage over the period. To improve, ensure data points are as accurate as possible and consider mentioning the stability of the total percentage between 1996 and 2006 before the rise in 2011.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear overall trend and a breakdown by categories. However, the flow could be improved by using more cohesive devices to link ideas and avoid abrupt transitions. For instance, the paragraph on 'other regions' and 'total' could be better integrated with the previous discussion. Additionally, the use of 'on the contrary' is slightly repetitive and could be varied. Overall, the message is clear and easy to follow, but there is room for more sophisticated cohesion.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'individuals whose birthplaces were' instead of 'people born in'). However, there is a limited range of synonyms and some repetition (e.g., 'standing at' used multiple times). The report could benefit from more varied and precise language, such as 'peaked at', 'dipped to', 'remained stable', or 'surged'. The phrasing is mostly natural, but a few expressions like 'did not change though time' are awkward and could be refined.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. However, there are a few errors and awkward phrasings that affect accuracy. For example, 'did not change though time' should be 'did not change over time', and 'standing at' is used repeatedly, which could be varied. Additionally, the sentence 'At the beginning of the period, the UK had the highest percentage, standing at nearly 13%, while Asia had the lowest percentage, standing at 2.5% in 1976' is slightly redundant. Overall, the grammar is mostly correct, but minor errors and lack of variety in structures prevent a higher score.

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