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Band 5+: The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2011.

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Image for topic: The picture below shows the use of renewable energy accounting the total energy from 1971 to 2011.

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The image displays a line graph with data from 1971 to 2011, including six distinct lines: Finland shows fluctuations from approximately 25 in 1971 to around 21 in 2011; Denmark initially decreases from about 15 in 1971 to around 9 in 1982, then rises to roughly 15 by 2011; France starts around 10 and ends slightly above that by 2011, with minor variations in between; Germany's values initiate near 10 and increase steadily, reaching over 15 by 2011; the United States begins under 5 in 1971 and incrementally ascends to just over 10 by 2011; the United Kingdom commences under 5 and climbs slightly over 5 by 2011.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the use of renewable energy as a proportion of total energy use by six nations between 1971 and 2006. Overall, Finland’s showed the highest percentage all over the year, whereas the United Kingdom showed the lowest figure throughout the year. Notably, all of the countries experienced fluctuations.

Focusing on increases first, beginning with 1971, Denmark was the most used energy consumption, with around 18%. This percentage saw significantly growth, but during the years, the percentage was slightly decreasing to 14% and then peaked at 18% at the end of the period. When it comes to the proportion of France’s energy consumption, it started at approximately 8%, the percentage rose during the year to 10% in the mid-1970s. At this point, Germany gradually increased, finished at around 13%. Germany unremained almost flat at 5% until the mid-1986s, then dramatically increased until 14% by 2011. Almost a similar pattern of increase was witnessed in the percentage of France and Germany. The United States renewable percentage started at around 2%, during the increase the percentage of renewable energy consumption slightly decreased and then dramatically increased until 2011, with roughly 11%. The United Kingdom started at roughly 1%, then gradually increased until 2011, at 6%.

Conversely, Finland’s figure started at nearly 24% in 1971. It is figure increased and decreased with fluctuating, declining to the lowest percentage around 16% in the 1986s, then significantly increased with 23% until 2011.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

percentage: 8

increased: 6

energy: 5

until: 5

around: 4

started: 4

renewable: 3

united: 3

figure: 3

consumption: 3

during: 3

germany: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and provides an overview, but there are several inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the data presented. For instance, the starting values for Denmark, France, Germany, the US, and the UK are not accurately reported, and the time period mentioned in the report (1971-2006) does not match the visual description (1971-2011). Additionally, some descriptions are vague or confusing (e.g., 'unremained almost flat', 'in the mid-1986s'), and the report lacks a clear, organized comparison between countries. To improve, ensure that all data points are accurately described, use precise time references, and structure the report with clear groupings (e.g., countries with increases vs. fluctuations). Also, avoid informal or unclear phrasing and maintain a consistent tense throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for increases and decreases. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by unclear referencing (e.g., 'It is figure') and awkward transitions. The paragraphing could be improved by grouping countries more clearly and using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader. Aim for smoother connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary (e.g., 'fluctuations', 'significantly growth', 'dramatically increased'), but there are inaccuracies and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'most used energy consumption', 'unremained almost flat'). To improve, use more precise and natural collocations (e.g., 'experienced significant growth', 'remained relatively stable') and ensure word forms are correct (e.g., 'significant' instead of 'significantly' before a noun).

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('Finland's showed'), incorrect word forms ('significantly growth'), and unclear phrasing ('It is figure increased'). There is also inconsistent tense usage. To improve, focus on using a variety of sentence structures accurately, proofread for common errors, and ensure that each sentence is grammatically complete and clear.

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