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Band 4+: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004.

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Image for topic: The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consumption and use in Australia in 2004.

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The image presents two charts for Australia in 2004: a pie chart showing water consumption with Residential (houses) at 57%, Residential (apartments) at 13%, Business at 10%, Government at 6%, Industry at 11%, and Other at 3%, and a bar chart illustrating residential water usage with Bathroom at 27%, Toilet at 20%, Washing Clothes at 15%, Kitchen at 10%, and Garden at 30%.

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The bar and pie charts illustrates what percentage of water was consumed and used in Australia in 2004.

the pie charts divided on 6 sections. The most popular water consumption is residential in houses. It makes up 57 percent. The second popular place where consumed to water was residential but in apartments with at 13 percentage. In the industry water consumption amounting to 11percent. In business sphere comprising one in ten. The government spent 6 percent and the 3 percentage consumed in other spheres.

The bar charts demonstrates the definite residential where used to water. In the bathroom water usage representing approximately 27 percent. In the garden used to water around 26 percentage. The average water usage are washing clothes which contains a fifth. The less than a fifth forming in the toilet while in the kitchen at one in twenty.

Word Count: 141

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

water: 8

percentage: 4

charts: 3

consumed: 3

residential: 3

percent: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The description of the data is not always precise, and there are some issues with grammar and vocabulary. To improve, focus on providing more accurate data and using a wider range of vocabulary to describe the trends and figures. Also, ensure that your grammar is accurate and that your sentences are clear and concise. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. The connection between sentences within paragraphs is often weak, making it difficult to follow the information. Use cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas and improve the overall flow. Consider organizing the report into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the charts.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There's limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. For example, 'popular' and 'consumed' are used frequently. Expand your vocabulary related to data description (e.g., proportions, trends, comparisons) and use a wider range of words to avoid repetition. Aim for more specific and descriptive language to convey the information accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect preposition usage. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Practice writing more complex sentences using a variety of structures (e.g., compound, complex sentences) to enhance grammatical range. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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