Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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The image shows pie charts for New Zealand's online retail sector sales, with 2003 data featuring travel at 36%, film/music at 21%, books at 19%, and clothes at 24%; 2013 data highlights travel at 29%, film/music at 33%, books at 22%, and clothes at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts compare the online sales of four different retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Overall, the travel sector had the highest percentage of online sales in both years. In contrast, the film/music sector was the least popular in both years.

In 2003, travel had the largest proportion of online sales, at 36%. This was followed by clothes/fashion at 24%. Books and film/music had smaller shares, at 21% and 19% respectively.

In 2013, the figure for travel increased significantly to 43%, making it still the highest. The online sales for clothes/fashion also rose, to 33%. However, the proportions for books and film/music decreased. Books fell to 16% and film/music dropped to only 8%.

In conclusion, online sales for travel and clothes/fashion grew over the 10-year period, while the figures for books and film/music declined.

Word Count: 138

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 5

sales: 5

film/music: 5

travel: 4

books: 4

clothes/fashion: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the pie charts and provides an overview with some comparative statements. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the figure for travel in 2013 is incorrect, and the film/music sector was not the least popular in both years). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and pay close attention to the details in the visual representation. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The information is presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices is adequate. However, there's room for improvement in paragraphing and flow. For instance, consider combining the third and fourth paragraphs to discuss the data from both years more comparatively within the same paragraph, enhancing the cohesion between the data points.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary suitable for describing the data. Terms like 'proportion,' 'shares,' and 'significantly' are used appropriately. To enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary to describe changes and trends, such as 'plummeted,' 'surged,' or 'remained relatively stable.' Also, ensure that the vocabulary is used with precision to reflect the nuances in the data. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with full flexibility and control. Punctuation and grammar are used correctly and appropriately throughout. There are virtually no grammatical errors or phrasing issues.

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