Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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Image for topic: The pie chart below show the comparison of different kinds of energy production of France in two years.

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The image shows pie charts for New Zealand's online retail sector sales, with 2003 data featuring travel at 36%, film/music at 21%, books at 19%, and clothes at 24%; 2013 data highlights travel at 29%, film/music at 33%, books at 22%, and clothes at 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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These pie charts show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013 years. These retail sector categories included travel, film/music, books and clothes.

Overall, the trends were mixed, with two categories rising and two declining.

In 2003, travelling sector had 36% sale, and it slightly increased to 29% in 2013. By contrast, film&music had 21% sale in 2003, and it had upward trend to 33% in 2013.

Similarly, the selling ratio of books had 19% selling ratio in 2003, and with a little amount of increasing it had rose to 22% in 2013. On the other hand in clothes sector, there was a 24% to 16% decreasing ratio between 2003 and 2013.

Word Count: 117

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 3

ratio: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key trends in the data. However, there are some minor inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the report mentions that the travelling sector increased to 29% in 2013, but it actually decreased. Similarly, it states that the selling ratio of books increased to 22% in 2013, but the amount of increase is not little. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and described. Also, try to use more precise language when describing changes and trends. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The 'Overall' statement is a bit vague. Consider grouping the rising and declining categories more explicitly in separate paragraphs to enhance clarity. Transitions between sentences could also be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but could be more precise. The word choice is sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'sale,' 'ratio'). Try to use synonyms or more specific terms to describe the changes and proportions. For example, instead of 'selling ratio,' consider 'percentage of sales' or 'market share.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the report. For example, 'travelling sector had 36% sale, and it slightly increased to 29% in 2013' contains awkward phrasing. It should be 'the travel sector accounted for 36% of sales in 2003, decreasing slightly to 29% in 2013'. Pay close attention to verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and correct use of prepositions. Proofread carefully to eliminate these errors.

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