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Pie Chart

Band 6+: The pie chart below shows the the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2020

Image for topic: The pie chart below shows the the percentages of industry sectors' contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2020
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The image consists of a pie chart representing industry sectors' contribution percentages to Turkey's economy in 2020. Healthcare and Education stands as the highest contributing sector at 17%, followed by Manufacturing; Trade, Utilities, and Transportation at 16%. Agriculture and Leisure and Hospitality both contribute 14% each. Construction accounts for 10%, Government services make up 9%, while Finance, Business, and Other services have the least contribution at 8%.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of industry sectors’ contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2020. In this essay I will summaries the information and make comparisons where it is relevant.

To begin, we see that most percentage of contribution of all industry sectors belongs to health care and education(17%).The second largest contribution belongs to trade, utilates and transportation and takes 16 percent. The same proportion of contributions have leisure , hospitality and agriculture(14%). Contribution from manufacturing contains 12 percent for Turkey economy.

The small proportion of contribution have construction, government and finance, which take 10 and 9 percent of all industry sectors’ contribution to the economy. Finally, the lowest percentage of contribution belongs to finance, business and other. It has 8 percent.

To sum up, the most proportion of industry sectors’ contribution to the economy of Turkey in 2020 have health care and education, trade , utilates and transportation, which contain approximately one fourth of all pie chart.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

6
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
contribution: 8
industry: 4
percentage: 3
sectors': 3
economy: 3
turkey: 3
belongs: 3
percent: 3
proportion: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The report would benefit from a more structured approach, such as grouping sectors with similar contributions together in paragraphs. Also, ensure that all data is accurately represented.

Coherence & Cohesion

6
The report is generally organised, but the introduction is a bit formulaic. The use of cohesive devices is adequate but could be more sophisticated. Paragraphing is mostly logical, but the final paragraph feels somewhat disconnected and repetitive. Consider varying your sentence structure and using more precise language to improve the flow and clarity of your writing.

Lexical Resource

6
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's a lack of precision and variety. Phrases like 'most percentage of contribution' and 'small proportion of contribution' are not the most effective. Try to use more specific and varied vocabulary to describe the data. For example, instead of 'small proportion,' you could use 'minor contribution' or 'limited share.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5
The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms ('summaries' instead of 'summarise', 'utilates' instead of 'utilities'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and sentence structure. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Vary your sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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