Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie chart compares the percentage of pupils who graduated from Brington university in the year 2019 and entered in numerous job

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The image shows a pie chart titled 'Employment sectors of graduates from Brighton University, 2019', detailing the proportions of graduates in various sectors: Service industries (33.0%), Manufacturing industry (16.3%), Education (14.7%), Politics & government (12.1%), Transportation and warehousing (7.8%), Science & technology (7.3%), Civil service (5.6%), Other (2.8%), Charity (0.3%), and Sport (0.1%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of different employment sector of graduates from Brighton University in 2019.

Overall, service industries’ sector has shown the largest number of graduates which is 33.0%. In contrast, the lowest amount of graduates has shown for sport sector, 0.1% accordingly.

Graduates of manufacturing industry was 16.3% which is about 4% above than Politics & goverments sector graduates, 12.1% accordingly. Education sector has shown almost the same interval which was recorded 14.7%. The extremely small percentage comparing to the other mentioned sector were for sport graduates (0.1%) and for charity (0.3%). Civil service graduates’ percentage was a little above than them, 5.6% accordingly. Transportation and warehousing employment sector was recorded as 7.8%. In addition, there is an also sector which was named as other, 2.8% accordingly.

Word Count: 130

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sector: 8

graduates: 5

which: 4

percentage: 3

shown: 3

accordingly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview of the distribution of graduates across different employment sectors. There is a clear overview and the main features are identified. However, there are some opportunities to enhance the analysis by grouping sectors or providing more comparative statements to highlight key differences. Also, pay attention to grammar and word choice to improve clarity. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a general overview and highlights some key features, but the organization could be improved. Transitions between sentences and ideas are sometimes abrupt, affecting the flow. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. Paragraphing is adequate but could be more strategically employed to group related information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'accordingly'). Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to employment sectors and data analysis to enhance the sophistication of your language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is generally simple, and while accuracy is reasonable in some areas, there are noticeable lapses that detract from the overall quality. Focus on proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and experimenting with more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range.

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