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Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries in 2009 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Image for topic: The pie charts below show the methods used by international students when booking the online English courses in three different countries in 2009 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The image consists of six pie charts comparing the methods used by international students to book online English courses in three different countries (Australia, the USA, and Canada) in 2009 and 2010. The charts show the percentage breakdown of four booking methods: Arrival, Pre-booked with agents, Internet, and Other. In Australia, in 2009, 70% of students booked on arrival, 10% pre-booked with agents, 10% used the internet, and 10% used other methods. In 2010, those percentages changed to 50%, 30%, 10%, and 10%, respectively. In the USA, in 2009, 50% booked on arrival, 30% pre-booked with agents, 10% used the internet, and 10% used other methods. In 2010, those percentages changed to 60%, 20%, 10%, and 10%, respectively. In Canada, in 2009, 40% booked on arrival, 40% pre-booked with agents, 10% used the internet, and 10% used other methods. In 2010, those percentages changed to 30%, 50%, 10%, and 10%, respectively.
Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.
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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The given pie charts compare the methods of booking online english courses by foreign students in 3 specific countries between 2009 and 2010

Overall, in Australia and USA the percentage of booking was similar during the years, while canada illustrated a significant change compared to first year.

In 2009, In Australia the percentage of booking by pre booking agents was the highest(27%), registering by arriving, from internet, and other were almost similar (26%,24% and 23%) respectively. However in 2010, pre booking agents decreased more than half ( from 27% to 11%), booking from the internet showed a rise in 14 points( from 24 to 39%), arrival and other were similar( 20% and 30%).

In Usa, four methods of registering for courses were almost identical in 2009 and 2010. Booking by other means lost three points compared to 2009 (26% to 23%) , arrival stayed 24% , interned lost 1 percentage from 26% and give it to pre booking with agents.

The international students from Canada, in 2009 booking courses by arriving was almost the half of the pie and this score decreased dramatically from 45% to 22% in 2010. Internet was the second common category in 2009 by 27%, nevertheless it lost 2 points after year. The most significant change illustrated registering by pre booking with agents and other ways, they are rose dramatically from 22% to 35% and 8% to 18% respectively.

Word Count: 233

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Overall Band Score

5.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
booking: 10
other: 4
courses: 3
percentage: 3
agents: 3
registering: 3
internet: 3
almost: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6
The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data presented. The structure is clear with an overview and body paragraphs, but the details in the body paragraphs contain some incorrect information. To improve, ensure data accuracy and avoid misinterpreting the values from the pie charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

5
The report demonstrates some organization, but the progression of ideas is not always clear. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, using phrases like 'In contrast' or 'Similarly' can help connect ideas more effectively. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information logically.

Lexical Resource

6
The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, instead of 'almost similar,' consider using 'comparable' or 'relatively equal.' Expanding the range of vocabulary related to describing data trends (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'remained stable') would enhance the report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

4
The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. For example, 'canada illustrated' should be 'Canada illustrated'. Also, sentence structure could be varied to improve readability. Proofreading carefully for these errors is essential.

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