Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

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The image contains two pie charts showing brand shares; 2009 chart details are Mobile phone 15%, Laptop 20%, Tablet 5%, Desktop computer 18%, Flat-screen TV 8%, Conventional TV 34%; 2019 chart details are Mobile phone 27%, Laptop 19%, Tablet 12%, Desktop computer 14%, Flat-screen TV 26%, Conventional TV 2%.

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of 6 distinguished brands in 2009 and 2019.

Overall: there has been significant changes in the usage of these technology devices due to several reasons.

Initially, the share of mobile phones increased insanely from 15% to 26% due to the fact that smart phones became an essential human need nowadays. On the other hand, laptops share decreased from 20% to 12% because laptops are no longer beneficial like in 2009 because it got replaced by smart phones with the technological advancement nowadays. It is clear that tablets share increased dramatically in 10 years because it became a crucial need for many people specifically students.

Secondly, desktop computers share went down from 18% to 12% because there are other diffierent brand such as tablets and smart phones became superior to desktop computers. Moreover, flat screen tv share increased roughly due to how modern it looks. Conventional Tv share decreased insanely because it does not provide the advanced technology people are looking for .

Ultimately, these brands share changed due to the significant advance in technology.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

share: 7

because: 5

phones: 4

technology: 3

increased: 3

smart: 3

became: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the changes in brand shares between 2009 and 2019, but it includes some inaccuracies and irrelevant explanations. For example, the report states that laptop share decreased from 20% to 12%, while the data shows it decreased to 19%, and mobile phone share is given as 26% instead of 27%. Additionally, the report provides speculative reasons for changes (e.g., 'smart phones became an essential human need'), which are not required in Task 1. The structure is clear with an overview and grouped data, but the focus should remain on describing the data objectively without adding personal opinions or causes. To improve, stick strictly to the data, ensure accuracy of figures, and avoid unnecessary explanations.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. However, the cohesion is somewhat mechanical and occasionally distracting, with phrases like 'Initially' and 'Secondly' used in a way that does not always smoothly connect ideas. The paragraphing could be more skillfully managed; for instance, the overview is placed in the second line but is not clearly separated from the introduction. The conclusion is repetitive and does not add new information. To improve, use a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but limited and sometimes informal or inappropriate for an academic report. Words like 'insanely' and 'roughly' are not precise or formal enough. There is some repetition of phrases such as 'share increased/decreased'. The report would benefit from a wider range of more sophisticated and accurate vocabulary, such as 'rose sharply', 'declined significantly', or 'experienced a substantial increase'. Avoid subjective language like 'became superior' and maintain a neutral tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. Examples include 'there has been significant changes' (subject-verb agreement), 'laptops share' (should be 'laptop's share' or 'the share of laptops'), and 'it got replaced' (informal and incorrect tense). Punctuation is sometimes missing or misused. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of possessive forms, and using a wider range of sentence structures with greater accuracy. Proofreading for common errors would also help.

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Band 5+: The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019.

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