Pie Chart

Band 7+: The pie charts illustrate what students did after graduating from secondary school in Australia between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts illustrate what students did after graduating from secondary school in Australia between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features three pie charts titled 1980, 1990, and 2000, accompanied by a bottom legend with three categories: Employed, Further education, and Unemployed. In 1980, Further education comprises 50%, Employed comprises 40%, and Unemployed comprises 10%. In 1990, Employed represents 50%, Further education represents 38%, and Unemployed represents 12%. In 2000, Employed accounts for 55%, Further education accounts for 37%, and Unemployed accounts for 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie graphs illustrate the proportion of school leavers in Australia after completing secondary school in 1980, 1990, and 2000.

Overall the data indicates that in 1980 further education accounted for the largest segment while the unemployed portion recorded the lowest share. Over the period employment represented the largest percentage.

In 1980 further education accounted for the highest segment, indicating 50% of students. Employment recorded around 40%, highlighting the second-highest priority. In 1980 only 10% of students were unemployed.

By contrast employment percentage increased by 10% in 1990, accounting for the largest share. The unemployed segment rose slightly to 12%. Further education, however, decreased significantly by 12%, recorded at 38%.

In 2000 the largest segment was recorded by employment at 55%, increasing by 5%. In contrast further education and the unemployed portion dropped slightly, showing 37% and 8%, respectively.

Word Count: 139

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

further: 4

education: 4

largest: 4

segment: 4

recorded: 4

employment: 4

unemployed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by providing a clear overview and highlighting key trends across the three years. It accurately describes the main features, such as the shift from further education being the largest category in 1980 to employment dominating in 1990 and 2000. The data is presented logically, with appropriate comparisons made between the years. Minor omissions, such as not explicitly stating the overall increase in employment from 1980 to 2000, are acceptable and do not detract from the overall quality. To improve, consider adding a brief summary of the overall change over the entire period and ensuring all percentages are mentioned consistently. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is well-organized and follows a clear logical progression, moving from an overview to detailed comparisons across the three years. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'By contrast', and 'In contrast' helps guide the reader. However, the paragraphing could be improved by grouping the information more effectively; for instance, the 1980 data could be presented in a single paragraph, and the 1990 and 2000 data could be combined for better comparison. Minor lapses in cohesion are present but do not hinder understanding.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'illustrate', 'accounted for', 'recorded', 'segment', and 'share' demonstrating good lexical control. There is a good range of synonyms for describing proportions and trends. However, some phrases are slightly repetitive (e.g., 'accounted for' and 'recorded' are used multiple times), and a few expressions could be more precise, such as 'the unemployed portion' instead of 'the unemployed segment'. Overall, the lexical resource is strong and natural. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. There are no significant grammar errors, and punctuation is used correctly. However, there is a minor issue with the phrase 'recorded at 38%' which could be more naturally phrased as 'recording 38%' or 'at 38%'. Additionally, the sentence 'In 2000 the largest segment was recorded by employment at 55%, increasing by 5%' could be rephrased for better clarity. These are minor and do not detract from the overall accuracy.

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