Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie charts illustrate what students did after graduating from secondary school in Australia between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie charts illustrate what students did after graduating from secondary school in Australia between 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image features three pie charts titled 1980, 1990, and 2000, accompanied by a bottom legend with three categories: Employed, Further education, and Unemployed. In 1980, Further education comprises 50%, Employed comprises 40%, and Unemployed comprises 10%. In 1990, Employed represents 50%, Further education represents 38%, and Unemployed represents 12%. In 2000, Employed accounts for 55%, Further education accounts for 37%, and Unemployed accounts for 8%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given pie charts provide information regarding the students did after graduating from secondary school in Australia Between 1980 and 2000.

Overall, the bulk pf students went to further education and employed while unemployed categories received minimal attention. Notable differences exist betweens the two years in termd of prio.

Firstly, with regard to employed, this category accounted for 40% of graduates in 1980 . By comparison, the figure increased to 50% in 1990 and reached 55% in 2000. This suggests that employed became increasingly popular over the period. When it comes to further education , this category represented 50% in 1980, which dropped to 38% in 1990 before declining to 37% in 2000.

In terms of unemployed, the proportion fell from 30% in 1980 to 12% in 1990, before dropped to 8% in 2000. This indicates that unemployed returned to its original share by the end of the period.

Word Count: 149

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

employed: 3

unemployed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and making comparisons across the three categories. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions that affect clarity. For instance, the unemployment figure for 1980 is incorrectly stated as 30% instead of 10%, and the overall statement mentions 'two years' instead of three. Additionally, the phrase 'bulk pf students' contains a typo, and the final sentence about unemployment returning to its original share is misleading. To improve, ensure all data points are accurate, use precise language, and proofread for grammatical errors. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs for each category. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'in termd of prio' and 'unemployed returned to its original share'). The use of cohesive devices is basic, and some sentences are not well-linked. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with smooth transitions.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'accounted for', 'increased', 'dropped', 'declining'), which is appropriate for the task. However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'pf' for 'of', 'betweens' for 'between', 'termd' for 'terms', 'prio' for 'priorities') and some imprecise word choices (e.g., 'minimal attention' is informal). To improve, proofread for spelling and use more precise academic vocabulary, such as 'the majority' instead of 'the bulk'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the students did' should be 'what students did', 'Between' should be 'between', and 'before dropped' should be 'before dropping'. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially verb forms and prepositions, and ensure each sentence is grammatically complete and accurate.

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