Multiple Graphs

Band 5+: The pie charts show the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a typical week. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The pie charts show the first place Germans and Nigerians go to in order to access the news in a typical week. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.Write at least 150 words.

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The image contains two pie charts detailing the primary news sources for Germans and urban Nigerians. For Germans, the distribution is: Newspaper 45%, TV 30%, Internet 11%, Radio 10%, and Other sources 4%. For Nigerians in urban areas, the distribution is: TV 63%, Radio 22%, Newspaper 13%, Internet 1%, and Friends and family 1%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts provide information about the primary place that German and Nigerian citizens go to for obtaining news during a week. Overall, It is clear that both nations have noticeable differences.

The major difference between them is popularity of TV. While, 63 percent of Nigerians prefer using TV in the first place, this figure is almost halved for the Germans. But newspaper is much more popular in German compared to Nigerians which are three quarters and almost a quarter respectively. Similarly, choosing radio to access the news between Nigerians is approximately double than Germans. Also, it can be seen that accessing the news on internet or other sources in German have more fans. There is just a negligible proportion in Nigerians that go for their news.

To sum up, it can be said that vast majority of Nigerians opt TV and Radio, and other sources are less popular compared to Germans who use much more of Newspaper and internet.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

nigerians: 5

german: 3

germans: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main features of the task and makes relevant comparisons between the two countries. The overview is present, and the key trends (the dominance of TV in Nigeria versus the popularity of newspapers in Germany) are identified. To improve, ensure more precise mathematical comparisons; for example, stating that the German newspaper figure is 'three quarters' is slightly inaccurate based on the data provided (45%). Additionally, refining grammatical structures and avoiding informal phrasing like 'have more fans' would enhance the academic tone of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the cohesion is weakened by improper use of transition words. For example, starting a sentence with 'But' or using 'While,' followed by a comma is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. Additionally, some sentences feel a bit disjointed. To improve, focus on using subordinating conjunctions more naturally and ensure that cohesive devices (like 'Similarly' or 'In contrast') are used to link ideas rather than just starting new sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands. There is some repetition, and certain phrases are awkward, such as 'have more fans' or 'go for their news,' which are too informal for an academic report. Instead of 'fans,' use terms like 'users' or 'consumers.' Instead of 'go for,' use 'utilize' or 'rely on.' Aim to use more precise academic synonyms for 'popular' and 'difference' to demonstrate a wider range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the clarity of the report. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'in German' instead of 'in Germany' or 'for Germans'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'While, 63 percent...'). There are also issues with comparative structures, such as 'double than Germans' instead of 'double that of Germans.' To improve, practice complex sentence structures and pay close attention to the distinction between nouns (Germany) and adjectives (German).

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