Pie Chart

Band 6+: the pie chat below shows online sales for retail sector in newzealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing four retail sectors in New Zealand online sales between 2003 and 2013: in 2003, Travel is at 36%, Film/Music 21%, Books 19%, Clothes 24%; in 2013, Travel is 29%, Film/Music 33%, Books 22%, Clothes 16%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts both shows online sales for retail sectors of travel,music/film,books and clothes in New Zealand in the years 2003 and 2013 as percentage.As an overall, we can see that the 2003 pie chart highest online sale for retail sector was travel, while in the 2013 pie chart we see that the most common for online sale sector was film and music.The film and music sector increased by 12% between the years 2003 and 2013.

The first pie chart shows that the highest online sales was travel with 36%,and the second highest was clothes at 24%, and then it was film and music with 21%, and the lowest online sales sector was books at 19% in 2003.

The second pie chart we see that the highest online sales sector was film and music at 33%,and the second highest was travel at 29%, and then books at 22%,and the least common was clothes with 16% in the year 2013.

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

online: 6

highest: 5

sector: 5

sales: 4

chart: 4

clothes: 3

travel: 3

music: 3

second: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing a general overview and specific details from both pie charts. There may be some omissions or lapses, such as not mentioning the decrease in clothes sales. To improve, consider including more comparative statements and highlighting the most significant changes between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the organization could be improved. The overview is present but could be more impactful by summarizing the key trends more succinctly. The body paragraphs present the data, but transitions between them could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of the report.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While the report conveys the information, using more specific and sophisticated vocabulary related to sales trends and comparisons would enhance the quality of the writing. For example, instead of 'highest online sale,' consider using 'largest proportion of online sales' or 'dominated online sales'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring correct subject-verb agreement. Pay close attention to the accurate use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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