Pie Chart

Band 5+: The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of Children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in,whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

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Image for topic: The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of Children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in,whereas the second graph shows the activities in which girls participate.

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The image contains two pie charts comparing boys' and girls' cultural and leisure activities. Boys' activities include: Computer Games 34%, Basketball 26%, Soccer 17%, Listening to Music 10%, Skateboarding 11%, and Tennis 2%. Girls' activities include: Gymnastics 27%, Dancing 27%, Computer Games 16%, Listening to Music 21%, Netball 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie chart illustrates the percentage distribution of various types of activity that children of both gender participated in.

Dancing is the largest segment in the girl’s graph, accounting for 27% from all the activities. On the other hand, Basketball made up the largest segment on the boy’s graph. Both showing a significant interest in physical activities.

In contrast, reading is the lowest portion in the boy’s graph. This indicates a strong disinterest in non-physial activities for the boys. On the other hand, reading takes up 21% of all portion in the girl’s graph. While the boy’s second highest percentage is computer games. Nevetheless, both genders have similarities which are listening to music which makes up for 10% of the charts.

Overall, The girls potraits a huge interest in both physical and non-physical activities. While the boys are only interested in sporty activities and computr games.

Word Count: 146

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

graph: 4

activities: 4

boy's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report identifies some key features of the pie charts, but there are inaccuracies and omissions. For example, the report states that dancing is the largest segment in the girl's graph, which is correct, but it also states that basketball made up the largest segment on the boy's graph, which is incorrect (computer games is the largest). The report also mentions 'reading' as the lowest portion in the boy's graph and taking up 21% of the girl's graph, but reading is not mentioned in the visual description. The report also contains some general statements that are not supported by the data. To improve, ensure all data is accurately represented and avoid introducing information not present in the charts. Focus on comparing and contrasting the data with specific figures. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, making it harder to follow the comparisons and contrasts. For instance, the shift from discussing dancing and basketball to reading feels disjointed. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing could also be improved by grouping related ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit vague or could be expressed more concisely. For example, instead of 'various types of activity,' you could specify 'cultural and leisure activities.' Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to proportions and activities to enhance the description.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('Basketball made up the largest segment'), incorrect word usage ('potraits' instead of 'portrays'), and awkward phrasing ('from all the activities'). Correcting these errors and paying closer attention to sentence structure would significantly improve the report's grammatical accuracy. Also, ensure correct spelling and punctuation throughout.

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