Table

Band 5+: The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows a table listing average retirement ages for men and women in 2003 in six countries: Australia (Men: 64 years, 1 month; Women: 63 years, 5 months), United States (Men: 65 years, 6 months; Women: 64 years, 2 months), Japan (Men: 67 years, 4 months; Women: 66 years, 9 months), Italy (Men: 57 years, 8 months; Women: 56 years, 9 months), France (Men: 57 years, 4 months; Women: 56 years, 9 months), and Korea (Men: 68 years; Women: 67 years, 2 months).

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The data below illustrates the average age of different genders in six regions in 2003. This essay will summarize the information and make compsrisons where relavant.

In the table comparing males to females, males age are much lower than second gender.

Giving month in fenales table are higher over the males one. However, in Japan and Italy the retiring year of both males and females are similliar, with the difference of month by 9. It shows that in some ways number of genders are same in certain way.

The lowest age of males is 57, by fourth month and the higest is 68, while females have little changes in the ages. For instance, in France men age are 57, while women age is 56. Consequently, in Korea average age of male is 68 and females is 67.

Overall, in six countries, the average age of men exceeds that of women.This suggest that men tend to live longer in those countries.

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

males: 5

females: 4

average: 3

month: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains significant issues. The organization is unclear, and the analysis lacks depth. The language used is often inaccurate and difficult to understand. The report also includes some inaccurate information and makes unsupported claims. To improve, focus on organizing the information more logically, using precise language, and providing accurate and detailed comparisons. Ensure that all claims are supported by the data provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has some issues with coherence and cohesion. The introduction is present, but the organization of the body paragraphs could be improved. The flow of ideas is not always smooth, and some sentences seem disconnected. Consider using more transition words and phrases to link ideas and improve the overall flow. For example, use words like 'similarly', 'in contrast', 'furthermore', 'however', etc., to guide the reader through the comparisons and contrasts.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the range needed to effectively convey the information in the table. There are instances of imprecise word choice. To improve, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to age, gender, and statistical comparisons. For example, instead of 'much lower,' use 'significantly lower' or 'considerably younger.' Instead of 'similliar,' use 'similar.' Also, avoid informal language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'males age are much lower than second gender' is grammatically incorrect. It should be 'the average retirement age of males is lower than that of females.' Also, 'Giving month in fenales table are higher over the males one' is unclear and grammatically incorrect. Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy to improve the overall quality of the report.

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