Table

Band 5+: The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image shows a table listing average retirement ages for men and women in 2003 in six countries: Australia (Men: 64 years, 1 month; Women: 63 years, 5 months), United States (Men: 65 years, 6 months; Women: 64 years, 2 months), Japan (Men: 67 years, 4 months; Women: 66 years, 9 months), Italy (Men: 57 years, 8 months; Women: 56 years, 9 months), France (Men: 57 years, 4 months; Women: 56 years, 9 months), and Korea (Men: 68 years; Women: 67 years, 2 months).

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The chart demonstrates the average retirement age of people in six nations in 2003, categorize by years and months.

overall, Japan and Italy shown the same numbers of mens and women retirement age and the same months that show mens retired at the age of 67 for 4 months and womens at 66 for 9 months in both countires.

Moreover, France seems to have the earliest retirement age compare to others countries, which are mens at the age of 57 and womens at the age of 56. On the other hand, Autralia has the shortest retirement period which just only one month for mens. And for the retirement time for womens in United Staes and Korea have the shortest time compare to other countries which are just for 2 months.

All in all, we can see that Japan and Italy have the highest retirement age and France have the shortest retirement age.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

retirement: 7

months: 3

womens: 3

which: 3

shortest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but contains several inaccuracies and omissions. It incorrectly states that Japan and Italy have the same retirement ages, when in fact they differ. It also misidentifies the country with the shortest retirement period and omits key data for several countries. The overview is incomplete and does not adequately summarize the main features or make effective comparisons. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data for all six countries, highlight the highest and lowest retirement ages, and make clear comparisons between men and women and across countries. Ensure that the summary is well-organized and covers the main trends without introducing errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the phrase 'Japan and Italy shown the same numbers' is ambiguous, and the comparison between countries is not logically organized. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct aspect (e.g., highest retirement ages, lowest retirement ages, and gender differences). Additionally, use cohesive devices such as 'in contrast', 'similarly', and 'while' to link ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but limited in range and precision. Words like 'demonstrates', 'nations', and 'retirement age' are used, but there is repetition and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the shortest retirement period which just only one month'). To improve, use a wider variety of synonyms (e.g., 'displays', 'countries', 'pensionable age') and more precise terms (e.g., 'the lowest average retirement age', 'a difference of X months'). Avoid informal or incorrect expressions like 'mens' and 'womens'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, 'categorize' should be 'categorized', 'shown' should be 'showed', and 'mens'/'womens' should be 'men's'/'women's'. There are also missing commas and incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'France seems to have the earliest retirement age compare to others countries'). To improve, review subject-verb agreement, use correct comparative forms (e.g., 'compared to other countries'), and ensure that each sentence is complete and correctly punctuated. Practicing a variety of sentence structures, such as complex sentences with relative clauses, would also enhance grammatical range.

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Band 5+: The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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