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Band 5+: The table below shows the percentage of the male and female workforce in six different sectors in 1993 and 2003

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The image presents a table delineating percentages of male and female workforce in six sectors for the years 1993 and 2003: Services and transport shows 1993 female 53%, male 22%; 2003 female 36%, male 31%. Agriculture indicates 1993 female 8%, male 38%; 2003 female 6%, male 8%. Business reports 1993 female 1%, male 7%; 2003 female 22%, male 25%. Manufacturing lists 1993 female 25%, male 16%; 2003 female 12%, male 17%. Building details 1993 female 0%, male 12%; 2003 female 6%, male 10%. Social services accounts 1993 female 13%, male 5%; 2003 female 18%, male 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table represents statistics of womens and means workforce in six sections at two timestamps, 1993 and 2003.

Overall, in first time period,leading sector for females was Services and transport, while for males it was Agriculture. At second time period, Females kept on services and transport, Though, males changed their main sector to same as females.

[body1]

Womens in 1993 mainly chose services and transport,with wopping 53%, Followed by manufactuting with 25%. Then there are social services with 13%, Agculture with 8%, business with 1% and 0 percents on building. In 2003 ladys started choosing business over manufacturing, with 22% on business and 12% on manufacturing. Building and social services also was not ignored,they both rose to 5 and 6 percents respectively. And because of this rises, Services’ workforce chosing percentage was lowered right to 36%.Meanwhile,mens in 1993 mainly chose agriculture, with 38% workforce, But later they started chosing services and transport section, from 22% by 31%. And in result, agriculture lowered to 8%. Manufacturing slightly rose,from 16% to 17%. In comparison with manufacturing,business saw a sharp rise,from 7% to whoppinh 25%. Also,in 20043 gentelmans stopped choosing building,which went from 12 to 10%

Word Count: 193

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

services: 6

workforce: 3

transport: 3

agriculture: 3

business: 3

manufacturing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the table. The overview is clear, and the main trends are identified. The body paragraphs provide relevant details, although there could be more precise data referencing. To improve, focus on enhancing the accuracy of the data cited and ensuring a more consistent level of detail throughout the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization into paragraphs is present but could be improved for clarity. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult to follow the trends and comparisons effectively. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the data. For example, phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'However' could help to highlight comparisons and shifts in the data. Also, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and that sentences within each paragraph logically connect to that focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances where more precise or sophisticated language could enhance the report. For example, instead of 'wopping,' consider using 'significant' or 'substantial.' Varying your vocabulary to describe changes (e.g., 'increased significantly,' 'decreased slightly,' 'remained stable') would also improve the lexical resource. Focus on using vocabulary that accurately reflects the data and adds depth to your descriptions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('Womens chose' should be 'Women chose'), subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of prepositions. There are also issues with punctuation, such as missing commas and incorrect use of apostrophes. To improve, focus on proofreading carefully for these common errors. Review basic grammar rules and practice applying them in your writing. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a tutor to identify and correct errors.

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