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Band 6+: the table below shows the usual method of travel to work for people in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016

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The image presents a table detailing the usual method of travel to work for people in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016. For Sydney in 2011, the percentages for travel methods were: Car 62%, Train 16%, Bus 9%, Bicycle 5%, Walking 6%, and Other 2%. In 2016 for Sydney, the figures were: Car 58%, Train 19%, Bus 11%, Bicycle 6%, Walking 4%, and Other 2%. For Adelaide in 2011, the data was: Car 69%, Train 7%, Bus 6%, Bicycle 3%, Walking 8%, and Other 7%. In 2016 for Adelaide, the percentages were: Car 64%, Train 9%, Bus 8%, Bicycle 4%, Walking 6%, and Other 9%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The provided table depicts the comparison of the transportation methods used to travel to work in Sydney and Adelaide in 2011 and 2016. Overall, it is evident that both Sydney and Adelaide witnessed a marginal decline in the use of walking as a method over a 5-year period, while other vehicles, including public transport, experienced a marginal increase in 5 years.

Looking at the details, in Sydney, inviduals who used car as method transportation stood at 62% in 2011, before experiencing a significant fall standing at 58% by the end of the period. In contrast, public transportation accounted at 9% in 2011 and facing a gradual increase standing at 11% over a 5-year period.

Similary to Sydney, Adelaide faced a significant decrease on car as a method transportation from 69% to 64% by the end of the period. The transportation of bicycle, train, and bus stood at 3%, 7%, and 6% respectively in 2011, before experiencing a gradual surge stood at 4%, 9% and 8% respectively by the end of the year.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

transportation: 5

sydney: 4

adelaide: 3

method: 3

period: 3

stood: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and key data points from the table, providing a reasonable overview of the changes in transportation methods in Sydney and Adelaide. To improve, ensure that all notable changes are mentioned and that the data is presented with greater accuracy and detail. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for clearer communication.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize the information, but the flow could be improved. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are sometimes abrupt, affecting the overall coherence. For instance, the shift from the overview to the details in the second paragraph could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the logical progression of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Some phrases are a bit repetitive (e.g., 'method transportation'). Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific vocabulary to describe the trends and data. For example, instead of 'significant fall,' you could use 'noticeable decrease' or 'decline'. Also, 'marginal decline' is used, but the decline is not marginal.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common issues include incorrect verb tenses ('accounted at' should be 'accounted for'), subject-verb agreement ('inviduals' should be 'individuals'), and awkward phrasing ('facing a gradual increase standing at'). Pay close attention to these areas and proofread carefully to ensure grammatical accuracy. Vary your sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical control.

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