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Band 5+: The table shows the results of a 20-year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events

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The image displays a table detailing percentages of UK adults' reasons for attending arts events over a 20-year span: Desire to see a specific performer/artist recorded 58% 20 years ago, 55% 10 years ago, and 56% today; Accompanying children was at 9% 20 years ago, 10% 10 years ago, and 9% today; Special occasion/celebration documented 27% 20 years ago, 25% 10 years ago, and 20% today; Work/business accounted for 6% 20 years ago, 10% 10 years ago, and 11% today.

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The table illustrates the percentage of grown-up people who visit arts comissions in the United Kingdom in a 10-year period from 20 years ago to today

Overall, there were increases in the percentage of work or business or accompanying children while the opposite was true for people who desire to see specific artists or special occasion

It is clear that although individuals who want to see performer were the highest initally at 58% , it was decreased to 55% in 10 years ago before increased slightly to 56% and remained the highest in today. In contrast, adults who attend for work or business were the lowest with only approximately one-fifth in 20 years ago, however there was a significant increase throughout the period and reached about one- tenth in today

Additionally, the percentage of accompanying childen rose significantly from just above one-tenth to 24% in today, overtook both special celebrations and bussiness to become the second highest in the chart. Although the figure for special occasion was 27% in 20 years ago, it dropped slighty to 20% before fall dramatically to just below 9% in today

Word Count: 186

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

years: 4

percentage: 3

special: 3

highest: 3

today: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains some inaccuracies and misinterpretations of the data. The structure is generally clear with an overview and body paragraphs, but the details provided are not always accurate. For example, the report mentions 'increases in the percentage of work or business or accompanying children' which is not entirely accurate as accompanying children remained relatively stable. Also, the report states 'adults who attend for work or business were the lowest with only approximately one-fifth in 20 years ago' which is factually incorrect. The final paragraph also contains some inaccuracies. To improve, ensure that the data is accurately represented and avoid misinterpretations. Proofread carefully to eliminate errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize information, but the flow is disrupted by inaccuracies and unclear connections between ideas. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related points. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data and that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. Pay close attention to the accuracy of the data presented to avoid misleading the reader.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'grown-up people who visit arts comissions' could be improved. To enhance lexical resource, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to trends and data analysis. Consider using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and understanding. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, the sentence 'Although individuals who want to see performer were the highest initally at 58% , it was decreased to 55% in 10 years ago before increased slightly to 56% and remained the highest in today' contains multiple errors. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your work and focus on mastering basic grammatical structures. Pay attention to verb tenses, articles, and prepositions, as errors in these areas can significantly impact the clarity of your writing.

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