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Band 5+: The two maps demonstrate what happened in Kimsville, from 2002 to the present day

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Image for topic: The two maps demonstrate what happened in Kimsville, from 2002 to the present day

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The image compares two aerial views of Kimsville in 2002 and today, showing changes in the city, with structures such as shopping center, city center, old cinema, factory (smoke visible), new apartments, new train station, software company, football stadium, and pub depicted; new trees have been added today, and the old factory and cinema have been replaced by the stadium and new train station respectively. No numerical data provided.

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The provide maps demonstrate the modifications and developments that have take place in Kimsville from 2002 up to the present day.

Overall, Kimsville had experienced many transformation through the timeframe. It is noticeable that, the it is transformed into modern town with commercial and transportation facilities.

In 2002, In the northern region, a shopping centre remain unchanged, Whereas some green space has cleared to make way for a new apartments. There have been a new train station introduced recently.

Furthermore, in southern zone, pub is replaced from an old cinema, exactly downward from a city centre. A football stadium is built by cutting-down trees in the south-west corners. There was a factory in 2002 in the western side, which is now demolished demolished for constructing a new software company for modernization .. However a city centre remain untouched.

Word Count: 138

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

centre: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task and describes the main changes, but there are some inaccuracies and omissions. For example, it states that the pub replaced the old cinema, whereas the visual description indicates the old cinema was replaced by the new train station, and the pub is a separate structure. Additionally, the report mentions a new train station but does not specify its location relative to the old cinema. The report also omits the addition of new trees. The structure is generally clear, but some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing affect clarity. To improve, ensure all key changes are accurately described and proofread for language accuracy. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing (e.g., 'the it is transformed', 'exactly downward from a city centre'). The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, which makes the message harder to follow. To improve, use a wider range of linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea with smooth transitions between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some appropriate terms such as 'modifications', 'transformation', 'commercial and transportation facilities', and 'demolished'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'remain unchanged' should be 'remained unchanged', 'cutting-down trees' is awkward) and repetition. To achieve a higher score, use more varied and precise vocabulary, and ensure correct collocations (e.g., 'make way for' is used well, but 'introduced recently' could be 'recently introduced').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity, including subject-verb agreement ('maps demonstrate' should be 'maps demonstrate' but 'have take place' should be 'have taken place'), tense inconsistencies ('had experienced' should be 'has experienced'), and article misuse ('a new apartments' should be 'new apartments'). There are also punctuation issues and incomplete sentences (e.g., 'for modernization ..'). To improve, focus on using a range of sentence structures accurately, proofread for common errors, and ensure consistent use of past tense when describing changes.

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