Pie Chart

Band 5+: The two pie charts below show how an average household in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show how an average household in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts titled 'Household Energy Use in Australia (1995 vs 2015)'. The 1995 chart shows the following distribution: Heating at 40%, Water Heating at 30%, Refrigeration at 10%, Other Appliances at 10%, and Lighting at 10%. The 2015 chart shows: Heating at 30%, Water Heating at 25%, Other Appliances at 20%, Refrigeration at 15%, and Lighting at 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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A glance at the two provided pie chart demonstrate five categories – namely, lighting, refrigeration, water heating, heating and other appliances – of energy consumption in Australia in 1995 and 2 decades later. Units are measured in percentages.

Overall, two pie charts clearly illustrates that heating was the largest energy consumption both in 1995 and 2015. Meanwhile, the least amount of energy using were other appliances and lighting in 1995 and lighting in 2015.

In terms of energy consumption in 1995, the largest reason of using energy is heating, it accounted for two fifths, while using in water heating took 10% lesser. Yet using in lighting, refrigeration and other appliances also shared used barely 10 per cent.

Regarding the consumption in 2015, lighting was still the largest proportion, it took 30%, while energy using in water heating accounted one fourth. Energy using in other appliances increased a double, whereas using in refrigeration rose merely 5%. Yet energy consumption in lighting aspect kept the same level.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

energy: 8

using: 7

lighting: 6

heating: 6

consumption: 5

other: 4

appliances: 4

refrigeration: 3

water: 3

largest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the two pie charts. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions: the overview incorrectly states that heating was the largest in both years (it was in 1995 but not in 2015), and the description of 2015 data contains errors (e.g., lighting is said to be the largest proportion at 30%, but heating is actually 30% as well, and water heating is 25%). Additionally, there are minor grammatical issues and awkward phrasing. To improve, ensure data accuracy and use more precise language for comparisons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a basic structure with an introduction, overview, and two body paragraphs. However, the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and awkward phrasing. For example, 'the largest reason of using energy is heating' is vague, and the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. The overview mentions 'the least amount of energy using were other appliances and lighting in 1995 and lighting in 2015', but this is not consistently supported in the body. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Also, avoid repeating the same sentence structures and use cohesive devices like 'in contrast' or 'similarly' more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate but limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'energy using' and 'using in' are used multiple times, which reduces lexical variety. There is some attempt at paraphrasing (e.g., 'two fifths', 'one fourth'), but overall the range is narrow. To improve, incorporate more precise and varied terms such as 'consumption', 'accounted for', 'represented', 'saw a rise', or 'remained stable'. Avoid informal expressions like 'a glance at' and use more academic language suitable for Task 1. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('pie chart demonstrate', 'charts illustrates'), incorrect verb forms ('using were', 'using in'), and missing prepositions ('accounted one fourth'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, practice using a mix of simple and complex structures, ensure subject-verb agreement, and proofread for common errors. Punctuation is generally correct, but the overall accuracy needs significant enhancement.

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