Bar Chart

Band 7+: This is an IELTS writing task 1 sample answer essay on the topic of number of adults participating in major sports from the real IELTS exam.

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The image displays a bar chart titled 'Number of adults participating in major sports, 1997 and 2017', with values in thousands. The participation numbers for 1997 and 2017 respectively were: Tennis, 50 and 54; Basketball, 8 and 23; Cricket, 25 and 7; Golf, 31 and 34; Swimming, 34 and 35; Football, 31 and 48; and Rugby, 32 and 49.

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The bar graph above illustrates the amount of adults participating in a variety of popular sports in one area. The data collected is from the years 1997 and 2017.

Overall, tennis, football and rugby remained to be the most played sport in both time periods. Also, almost every sport experienced an increase in adult participants in the year 2017 compared to 2 decades ago with the exception of cricket which decreased heavily in 2017.

Firstly, the chart showcases fifty thousand adults had played tennis in the year 1997, making it the major sport in the area. The figure rose to fifty thousand in the next 20 years still continuing to be the highest played sport in one area compared to other sports in the picture.

On the other hand. Cricket plummeted between the years 1997 and 2017. The figure first started off with 25 thousand adult enjoying this sport, to only 5 thousand participants several years later. Furthermore, basketball used to be the least popular major sport in 1997 as only less than 10 thousand adults participated in playing it, however, this number doubled in 2017 when more than 20 thousand adults started to enjoy basketball in the area.

Word Count: 199

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sport: 6

thousand: 6

adults: 4

years: 4

played: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the data and highlighting key trends. There are some minor inaccuracies (e.g., stating tennis rose to fifty thousand when it rose to fifty-four thousand) and omissions (e.g., not mentioning golf and swimming). To improve, ensure all significant data points are mentioned and that numbers are accurately reported. Also, consider a more structured approach to comparing and contrasting the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear structure, including an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother to enhance the flow. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas more effectively. For instance, in the second paragraph, the transition between the overall trend and the exception of cricket could be more explicit.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the data. However, there are instances where the language could be more precise and sophisticated. For example, instead of 'amount of adults participating,' consider using 'number of adults participating' or 'adult participation rates.' Also, try to vary your vocabulary to avoid repetition, such as finding alternatives for 'sport' and 'adults participating.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with generally accurate sentence structures. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. For example, 'fifty thousand' should be 'fifty thousand' in the third paragraph. Also, the sentence 'The figure rose to fifty thousand in the next 20 years still continuing to be the highest played sport in one area compared to other sports in the picture' is a bit awkward and could be rephrased for better clarity and conciseness. Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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