Pie Chart

Band 5+: WRITING 6: The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: WRITING 6: The charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays two pie charts for 1958 and 2008. In 1958, the breakdown of activities was: Working 33%, Sleeping 32%, Going out (with friends/family) 19%, Relaxing at home 8%, Other interests or playing sports 6%, and Travel to work 2%. In 2008, the breakdown was: Working 42%, Sleeping 25%, Relaxing at home 13%, Other interests or playing sports 8%, Travel to work 8%, and Going out (with friends/family) 6%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two pie charts depicts the ratio of time working adults and spend on variouse acitivities in a particular nation between 1958 and 2008.

Overall, working accounted for the largest proportion of time in both years. the percntage of time spent working increased considerably, while the percentage of sleeping, travel to work ,relaxing at home ,playing sports, and going out with friends decreased.In contrast relaxingat home, and travelling to work.

After analyzing the charts it can be clearly seen that the percentage of time spent working increased 33% in 1958, while, the relaxing at home spent accounted 8%, sleeping spent represented 25%, playing sports spent constitude 6%,Moreover, the travelling to work and playing sports spent time 2%and 6% respectively.

On the other hand, in 2008 the proportion of the working spent time largely rose 33% to 42% similarly, relaxing at home spent time also increased 8%to 13%.and playing sports time spent rose 6% to 8% in comparison. In contrast,the ratio of time spent going out with family and sleeping fell 19% to 6% and 32% to 25%.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

spent: 10

working: 5

playing: 4

sports: 4

increased: 3

sleeping: 3

relaxing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main features and making some comparisons. However, there are several inaccuracies and omissions. For instance, the statement that sleeping, travel to work, relaxing at home, playing sports, and going out decreased is incorrect; only sleeping and going out decreased, while travel to work increased. Additionally, the report omits the travel to work percentage for 2008 and misstates some data (e.g., sleeping in 1958 is given as 25% instead of 32%). The structure is somewhat disorganized, and there are grammatical and spelling errors that affect clarity. To improve, ensure accurate data reporting, clearly separate trends for each activity, and proofread for language errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs, but the flow is disrupted by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For example, the overview mentions decreases in several activities but then contradicts itself by saying 'In contrast relaxingat home, and travelling to work.' without completing the thought. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, making the message harder to follow. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, use a range of linking words appropriately, and avoid incomplete sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors (e.g., 'variouse', 'acitivities', 'percntage', 'constitude') and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'the relaxing at home spent accounted', 'playing sports spent constitude'). The report would benefit from using more precise terms like 'accounted for', 'constituted', 'experienced a rise/fall', and a wider range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease'. Additionally, ensure correct word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'charts depicts'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'spent accounted'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., missing spaces after commas). The sentence structures are mostly simple and repetitive, with limited use of complex sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, proofread for errors, and practice using a variety of sentence structures, including subordinate clauses and passive constructions where appropriate.

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