Letter

Band 5+: you are going to another country to study you would like to do part time job while you are studying so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. wrie a letter to this friend give details of your study plans esplain why you want to get a part time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job

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Dear Kenneth,

I am planning to proceed Master’s degree at Harvard University in America and I would like to do a part-time employment while I am studying.Therefore,I would like to request you some advices as a person who stays in USA.

First of all, let me share you details regarding to my school time table.Morning sessions start at eight o’clock and teabreak is scheduled at ten past five then we will keep with another modules.After lunch hour we have only two modules after that we will call it a day at 2:00 Pm.

The reason why I am interested in shift job is because after school I don’t have any means of earning money and I want to solve some personal issues.In addition,I am fully available and capable for doing any type of job.

However,I would like you to assit me in finding a job because you are an expert in job application.Furthermore,you have created a good connection with many companies in America.

Kind regards,

Anne,

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the three required points: it gives some details of study plans, explains the reason for wanting a part-time job, and suggests how the friend could help. However, there are some inaccuracies and irrelevant details. For instance, the study timetable is described in excessive detail and includes an unlikely 'teabreak at ten past five' (which seems inaccurate for a morning session). The reason for the job is vague ('personal issues') and could be more specific. The suggestion for help is brief but relevant. To improve, focus on providing clearer, more relevant information and avoid unnecessary or confusing details. Also, ensure the tone is consistently polite and the letter is well-organized.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally easy to follow, but there are some issues with cohesion and paragraphing. The first paragraph combines the study plan and the request for help, which could be better separated. The second paragraph provides details of the study schedule, but the transition from the first paragraph is abrupt. The third paragraph explains the reason for wanting a job, and the fourth paragraph makes the request for help, but the connection between these ideas could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow, and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings. For example, 'proceed Master's degree' should be 'pursue a Master's degree', 'part-time employment' is acceptable but 'part-time job' is more natural, 'teabreak' should be 'tea break', 'shift job' is not the correct term, and 'assit' is a spelling error for 'assist'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and some expressions are not used naturally. Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary, and pay attention to collocations.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are numerous grammatical errors and punctuation issues throughout the letter. For example, missing spaces after periods, incorrect verb forms ('I am planning to proceed' should be 'I am planning to pursue'), incorrect prepositions ('regarding to' should be 'regarding'), and incorrect word order ('we will keep with another modules' is unclear). The sentence 'Morning sessions start at eight o'clock and teabreak is scheduled at ten past five' is confusing and likely incorrect. The letter also lacks variety in sentence structures, with many simple sentences. To improve, focus on grammar accuracy, punctuation, and using a wider range of complex structures.

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