Letter

Band 4+: You are organizing a fundraising gala for a local charity and want to invite potential donors and supporters. Write a letter to potential donors inviting them to the gala. You should include details about: - the charity's mission and the gala's purpose - the date, time, and location of the gala - how their attendance and contributions will help the charity.

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Dear Sir or Madam

This letter is an invitation to a party , which target is to help local charity.You may be inquired what is this charity. I will give answer for this question. This charity is based on helping orphans. Charity donates money , presents clothes and toys to local orphanages . Sometimes when it is possible it tries to find them new family to live their best life.

Now charity is in trouble , they have sharp finincial problems , which are needed to be fixed ,thats why this gala is essential. If problems continue , it will be on verge of closing , and will close soon.

Our company also provides your money tracking , it means that you could see result your money gives. You can be sure that your money wont disappear and defentely will give impact, improve someones life

If you got interested in helping children , our party starts on 16 sunday at 2 p.m. It will take place near Gandy park , Almaty , Kazakhstan.

Word Count: 173

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

charity: 4

money: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by inviting the recipient to a fundraising gala and including some details about the purpose, timing, and impact of contributions. However, the information provided is somewhat limited and lacks detail in certain areas, such as the specific awards attendees can expect. The organization could be improved for better clarity and flow. The tone is generally appropriate, but could be more persuasive and engaging to encourage donations. To improve, provide more specific details about the charity's work, the gala event, and the benefits for donors. Also, focus on making the letter more compelling and persuasive to encourage the recipient to attend and donate.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, making it difficult to follow the main points. Paragraphing is not effectively used to separate ideas, and transitions between sentences and paragraphs are abrupt. To improve coherence, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure a logical flow of information. For example, group all details about the charity in one paragraph and the gala details in another. Use cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'therefore' to link ideas smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the sophistication needed for a formal invitation. There is overuse of simple words and phrases, and some word choices are inappropriate for the context. To enhance lexical resource, use a wider range of vocabulary related to fundraising, charity events, and the impact of donations. For example, instead of 'party,' use 'gala event' or 'fundraising dinner.' Instead of 'money tracking,' use 'financial transparency' or 'detailed financial reports.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains frequent grammatical errors that impede understanding. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. To improve grammatical accuracy, review basic grammar rules and practice constructing a variety of sentence types. Pay close attention to verb tenses (e.g., 'is needed to be fixed' should be 'needs to be fixed') and ensure subject-verb agreement throughout the letter. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors before submitting.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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