Letter

Band 5+: You are planning a team-building event for your department at work and need to make arrangements with a local adventure company. Write a letter to the adventure company outlining your needs and requesting information. You should include details about: -the number of participants and their preferences -possible dates and times for the event -catering options and costs involved.

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Dear Manager,

I am writing to ask for making arrangements for the event that will be hosted by me.

I am Raman Sharma, and I am a resident of New Bank Colony, Dhaka. I am working in a company namely it and appointed as a manager. In order to improve team-building at work, I think about organising a team-building event which would be helpful for my other employees. To achieve this goal, I need your assistance in making proper arrangements.

After having discussion with my seniors, I think about hosting the event on a stadium and as you are the manager of local activity centre, your aid is very crucial to me. I believe that April 24th would be a perfect date because it is Sunday. In addition to it, 7:00 p.m. would be an idle time as everyone will be available after work. Moreover, 50 to 60 participants are expected to join this event. Besides this, the main activity is a speech of 45 minutes where the importance of team-building will be taught to youngsters. Therefore, a proper stage should be arranged. Apart from this, I would greatly appreciate it if you could arrange some refreshments, including cold drinks and toasts.

I hope you will give your best in this event.

Yours Sincerely,

Sanjana

Word Count: 215

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

event: 4

would: 4

team-building: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by including the date, time, number of participants, and type of activities. However, some information is irrelevant (e.g., your residential address and company name) and detracts from the focus. To improve, ensure all details are directly related to the event arrangements and maintain a professional tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. The introduction is a bit lengthy and contains unnecessary personal details. Transitions between ideas are not always smooth, making it harder for the reader to follow the purpose of the letter. Focus on clearly stating the purpose of your letter in the first paragraph and using transitions to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate but could be more precise and varied. Some phrases are a bit awkward or unnatural. To improve, try to use more specific and descriptive language related to event planning and team-building activities. For example, instead of 'making proper arrangements,' you could say 'facilitating the event logistics.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and article usage. For example, 'I am writing to ask for making arrangements' is not grammatically correct. Review basic grammar rules and sentence construction to improve accuracy. Proofread carefully to catch and correct errors before submitting your writing.

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