Letter

Band 5+: You are planning to move to a new city for work and need to find accommodation. Write a letter to a local real estate agency. - Explain your situation and the type of accommodation you are looking for. - Describe your preferred location and budget. - Ask about their fees and the process for viewing properties.

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Dear Mr. Ali,

I am writing this to inform you I have to move to the Lahore because my job posting is there.

Firstly,as I worked with a telecome company in my home twon city where I daily travel to my office from my home.Recently,they transfer my job to headoffice and its too far from my residency.Now I have to shift my family there .Furthermore, my first duty will start in 3rd november on monday. I would prefer to move there before one week of my joining.

In addition I am looking for a fully furnished flat with two bedroom with attach bathroom one kitchen ,drawing room near to my office. Moreover, I need other facilities like electricity, gas and water . I also require a car parking .

Lastly, I want to get some that twon information ,My son is studies in 5th class if there is a school near the flate is useful for me .

Thanks for your time and assistance, let me know if you need more information.

Best Regards,

Muhammad Shabeer

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant and sufficient information about the move, accommodation needs, and questions about the local area. There are a few minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, but they do not significantly detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the letter. To improve, focus on refining sentence structure and word choice for greater precision and fluency.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider structuring your paragraphs more clearly around each main point (reason for moving, accommodation requirements, questions about the area). Using more cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, pronouns) would also enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary related to accommodation and local amenities. For example, instead of 'near to my office,' you could say 'within a convenient commute of my office.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammar and sentence structure need significant improvement. There are several errors in verb tense, word order, and article usage. For example, 'job posting is there' should be 'job posting is located there' or 'I have been posted there'. Proofread carefully and focus on constructing grammatically correct sentences.

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